You won’t really find an introvert on a tree stump giving an impromptu speech and craving all the attention they can get.
No. They’re usually off by themselves creating things, wondering how the world works, and melancholically pondering some of life’s bigger questions.
Like why are extroverts so obnoxiously loud?
But it’s true, though. And now, with (it sounds so cliche but) ‘the rise of social media’ there’s more pressure than ever to be the most social person in the room.
There are simply too many avenues of communication for people to ever feel like they’ve had enough for the day.
And when you’re an introvert the problem gets to be a bit bigger. The pressure sometimes gets to be too much.
And that’s when we tend to retreat into our shells instead of feeling safe and comfortable enough to belt out everything we’re thinking, seeing, wanting, and experimenting with.
Here are all the ways an introvert existing through life might come off as irksome to some.
And why they really shouldn’t.
They won’t small talk you to stave away awkwardness
It’s no secret that introverts don’t like small talk.
It’s not their avenue of expertise. And when they’re made to actually do the small talk thing then it feels forced and phony (especially if they haven’t practiced this apparently important skill).
And when they feel forced and phony they feel uncomfortable. Because the talk isn’t meaningful and heartfelt and leading to good places.
And when they feel like they have to act other than their natural selves with their natural tendencies they tend to shut down.
And when they shut down they fail to express the whole universe within them. And this is why they tend to avoid most people.
This is why small talk is hard and why they aren’t likely to engage with just anyone we run into.
Put a limit on your hangout time even if it’s great
Introverts LOVE their friends and family. They do.
But their social charge only lasts so much. Think of them like an old Iphone that’s been used for a while. The battery tends to run out faster than other phones.
And this is why they tend to bounce early from social events, or say ‘I’ve got about two hours to stay and hang, then I’ve got to go.’
it’s not that you aren’t likable or interesting. They just have some drained batteries to attend to.
And that usually comes in the form of alone time with themselves doing whatever fits their fancy.
Make you feel ignored
They aren’t ignoring you.
They’re off doing my own thing, discovering cool things, and learning shit. Yes, they haven’t hit you up in a while and maybe they haven’t like all of your Instagram posts and commented (because they are not on social media 24/7).
But that doesn’t mean they don’t care about you. That doesn’t mean that if you called them up at the drop of a hat needing help they’d be right there by your side.
And sometimes, taking the initiative yourself to reach out can work too. Especially in the beginning, when they’re just getting warmed up to you.
Be uncomfortably OK with silence
For whatever reason, some people can’t be bothered with silence.
It irks them, makes them feel uncomfortable, and seemingly does nothing for them as they’re left alone with their own thoughts.
Well, introverts are the total opposite of that.
They enjoy silence, mostly because they like to get lost in their own head. Doesn’t matter that you might be sitting two feet away from them, while struggling to think of something to fill the silence.
They’re sitting there enjoying it.
NOT start a conversation with you in the morning
I’d be willing to bet most introverts aren’t morning people, if I were to somehow poll all of humanity.
For introverts, the mornings are for getting your thoughts straight, over examining the weird dream they had that night, or mentally preparing themselves for the big office meeting later that afternoon.
All while fixing their coffee, or drinking their red bull for that extra jittery energy that usually gets them talking a lot better.
They aren’t starting a conversation in the morning because their mind is busy waking up and thinking lots, even though it might not LOOK like it.
Show their pets more love than you
Pets are the epitome of the ideal friend for introverts in a lot of ways.
- Give unconditional love even if they don’t talk to them daily
- Are silent yet present when introverts need it the most
- Can be great companions when they want to be alone
- Help introverts think better as they stroke their fur/scales/feathers/what have you
- Give introverts something to live for (kidding)
So chances are, the introvert in your life might show their pet a tad more love than you. But I mean, pets are a perfect companion for a quiet introspective person, can you really be mad at that?
Stay away from group anythings as best as they can
A group outing?
Introverts pass gladly, with just about any excuse they can muster.
There will be lack of connection. Almost guaranteed. Lack of any real one-on-one interaction that they live for.
Because groups tend to be loud, and can get wild, and sometimes, yes, meaningless in the way introverts would think of them as meaningless.
And that’s why one-on-one dates always work best. And why you shouldn’t be too hard on them when they prefer to just hang out with you.
Smother you with deeply meant love
Introverts, contrary to popular belief, are full of LOVE for you.
Yes, yes they are. It’s just that often their introvertedness gets in the way of showing you love how YOU want it to be shown to you.
And that’s something that a lot of them struggle with, learning YOUR love language, as they learn and go through life trying to be the best version of themselves.
Still, don’t be surprised when they show up with a handmade card, or a pair of stripy socks they bought because they thought of you when they were out.
They try their best to smother you with love in little yet meaningful ways. So if you befriend an introvert and manage to break through their invisible barrier, consider yourself lucky.
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