When Life Gets in the Way
I never really understood what that meant. Life is life — how can it get in the way of itself?
And then it happened. I found myself using this exact quote yesterday.
You see, a few weeks ago, I had to move out of my flat in London, pack what I couldn’t sell into a storage unit, then complete two local house/pet sits, stay with friends in between, move my son out of his digs on Campus, plan 4 more house sits for us in New York, organise return flights and add 2 more house sits to align with our touch down date and time back in London. The flight was on time, but 2 added hours waiting in the baggage hall at LHR meant we only just made it to the next house/dog sit before we turned into pumpkins and the clock struck midnight. The logistics were insane and it was a little nerve wracking at times, but I could think of nothing else — I guess I was in some kind of survival mode — yet, I have never felt more alive.
But now, after 5 weeks on the move, I realised my writing, reading and meditation had taken a hit. This worried me a little because:
‘It’s what I do — it’s who I am. Who am I without it?’
But I was an imposter. I hadn’t written an article in weeks. I should have been sending my non-fiction book to more agents, and the novel I was reading — and previously couldn’t put down — was retaining its dog eared corner, panting for the next page turn. But more importantly (to me), my non-negotiable meditation practice was squeezing itself in between stops on the subway. Life, it seems, had got in the way. And sometimes we have to let it. We have to be open to change — even when it hits us like a tsunami — and all that it brings, without worrying about the should have/would have/could haves — our regular comfort zones, our stabilisers, our safety nets — and the biggest worry: what does the future hold with this change? We never know, so we have to go with the pull and push and accept that change is a way of life. Sometimes we have to struggle. Be ok with that, its part of the process.
A long long time ago, we were constantly on the move in order to survive — it’s in our DNA. Yet in these more recent and comparatively snug, secure decades, we molly coddle, we try to stay safe ‘just in case,’ we keep up appearances, we have to look busy , earn more money, keep updating our social handles — but to what end? Why are we so afraid of stepping out of our comfort zones?
All of this made me think about the quote ‘change is the only constant.’ This implies things move, adapt and are possibly never the same again — but it’s subtle nuance tells us to just accept that change is inevitable, so embrace it and any potential demons, because change is hard sometimes. But if you fight against it, you may as well try to hold back a tsunami. The good news is, you don’t have to. The coping mechanism is, and always has been there all along. Within us, we have a different kind of constant — an opposing still one. Yes, our external selves evolve all the time; changing, growing, adapting, bigger ears, more sun spots, learning and aligning to a perception of self. But I am referring to the real you— the you that doesn’t change, the you that lies deep within. It’s your inner self — your core self that you have to tap into for balance, clarity and wisdom in order to be at ease with the changes around you. You just need to learn to trust it.
When we allow ourselves the time to tap into the inner self, we find space, and we see things as they really are. There is a sense of knowing that has no bias, it just knows. This inner self never changes — it is always there, like a best friend just waiting patiently to be tapped into. This inner non-judgemental core — this constant, is the only way to manage the other constant, which is change. It is your calm sanctuary in the chaotic jungle. It sits still in all its wisdom; timeless, and unattached to any human construct. It never changes because it is infinite, intangible.
Do you allow yourself the time to sit in this space where time stands still while life around you compares, conflicts, collides and crashes?
Can you hit the pause button on the metaphorical bullet train of life and see it for what it really is? Can you take a moment to breathe, to reflect, to decide what’s real, what feels authentic, to care, to love with abandon no matter the outcome? Can you be absolutely fine with doing absolutely nothing and owning it? Can you find the courage to let go, allow life to get in the way, accept change and roll with the punches? Even the trying times will change — but just like the quote implies, accept them too.
Know who you are.
Check in. Don’t check out.
