“Dying’ is nothing, but not living is scary”

by Anna Grimaldi

Translated by Vladimiro Di Vito

One year from his untimely death, I’m not the one who wants to talk. But I let it be a letter written by my warrior to send a strong message to all of us, hoping that one day the and greed give the place to solidarity and benevolence.
“ it’s been exactly 172 days since the worst time of my life began. Chemotherapy, pills, levies, IV, bites, tests,, and whatnot.
What I saw and felt would be pointless to say, because most wouldn’t understand, and on the one hand it’s good. In a short time, I found myself feeling away from everything that was “normal”. away from the aspirations of a 23-Year-old boy. There were no more colors, scents, flavors. Everything was single and monodore in that surreal environment made of neon lights and protective masks.
The chicken tasted like metal, the fish tasted like metal, water smelled like metal, life smelled like metal. At that moment, find out how strong you are, because being strong is the only choice you have.
I thought this day would never come: the day of my victory.
After 5 months the light. I’m “normal” again.
The impact with “the reality of normal people” destabilises after all that. Now you know the diversity of everyone, don’t judge them more by their appearance, from what they have, but from what they are. Look inside every person and find out every suffering, every lack, every fear.
You know what it’s like to fight for a moment of happiness, but see that around you people are complaining that they’re not happy because they don’t have something or someone they want to have. You see envy, selfishness, indifference.
Everything is born inside of us. I don’t understand why man needs to suffer to bring out the courage to truly live.
Today I can say I feel like a much better person. I never thought I’d have to face a battle like this at this age. I’ve always been healthy like a fish, never sick, I felt untouchable, and instead… life is unpredictable, but despite everything I think I’m a very lucky person; during this experience I’ve known many people, who unfortunately had no disease “easily” curable like mine, and it is especially for them that I have to live, love life, and fight again if there is ever again need. I spent moments when I thought I couldn’t do it, where I thought the chemo pains were bigger than me. It’s been rough months, but I’ve never felt alone. In this way, I’ve had huge help from my family. When you spend more time in the hospital than at home, you really understand the value it has. A wonderful family I’ll never stop thanking!
A thank you goes to the fantastic doctors and nurses who took care of me on this path, and to all of you friends that with a simple message you gave me the strength to move forward.
A thank you also goes to all those people who went to donate blood for me.
It was also important to love… my girl, Anna, who spent full nights with me, evenings that all young people of our age are having fun. She was with me… in the house, I’m eternally grateful.
In these months I’ve given everything myself to be still here, and I realize that dying is nothing, but not living is scary.
Enjoy every moment of your life “.

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