By understanding how habits work–whether they are technology-related or not–we can learn to control them instead of letting them control us. By understanding how habits work, we become capable of breaking bad habits. Removing triggers, learning to cope with the pain of desire, and cultivating self-compassion are useful methods my wife and I have used to prioritize what matters most in our lives, first of which is “getting it on.”
The deciding factor between falling off the wagon completely and containing a habit for good is resilience after failure. The degree to which we are able to deal with a recurrence of an undesirable behavior with self-compassion instead of self-loathing makes all the difference.
ave–neither push…d have to uncomfortably contort behind our desks to flip the override switch. We also implemented a 10-minute rule and promised that if one of us really wanted to use a gadget after hours, we had to wait 10 minutes before actually doing so. The rule allowed time to do what some behavioral psychologists call “surfing the urge.” When an urge takes hold, bringing attention to the sensations of stress and riding them like a wave–neither pushing them away, nor acting on them–helps us cope until the feelings subside.