Top Five Dos and Don’ts for Online Dating
Before Starting Reading My Article, Follow me so others can read it.
I went on 121 first dates to meet my REAL partner.
I met nearly all 121 of them through online dating apps and learned a lot!
I’m here to share some of my failures, some of my wins, and feedback I got from daters along the way. I hope this helps your dating journey move along much faster than mine (with fewer dates)!
Enjoy.
Your Profile
Do…
Use a friend, family member, or coach to help proof your profile. They can provide valuable feedback for content and point out typos and grammar errors. You’d never guess how many of us are sticklers for spelling, and shocking as it may be, some of us think a well-placed semicolon is hot.
Don’t…
Be out there representing falsely. Don’t shave numbers off your age; try to stuff that body into a different body type classification, or give yourself a big, fat raise. 5’10” is not code for 5’ 7”, yo. Seriously, do you want to make someone call you on it face-to-face?
Your Correspondence
Do…
Reply to every thoughtful email. You will most likely need to write a “no thank you” email at some point. So before starting dating, write up a few short rejection emails and store them in Word. When you need one, cut then paste a fitting one into a reply, and then tailor it by inserting their name if they provided it. You could say something like, “Thank you for writing. After reading your profile, I see we’re not quite a match. Good luck out there.” The response makes you a good citizen, and the Word doc cut/paste system makes you an efficient dater.
Don’t…
Bother replying to the “drive-by” emails. You know, the ones. They are usually about four words, starting with “Hey baby”… and ending with “nice ass.” Think of it this way: If the email has the tone of a construction worker cat-calling you from a worksite, you can pass or respond, but passing is acceptable in this circumstance. Unless you want that kind of attention, in which case, enjoy — no judgment here.
Your Candidates
Do…
Give people a chance. You may learn the precious lesson that you can date outside your type but not your tribe. You don’t know who’s in your tribe until you’ve given them a chance.
Don’t…
Treat online dating like Amazon.com. When you meet someone lovely, spunky, and sincere, date them. Don’t see them and simultaneously compare them against everyone else you see online. This is a person, not an exchangeable item you can return for an upgraded model, and you’re better than that.
Making it Real
Do…
Meet right away. It’s okay to get a little excited about a profile, but you may want to assume they aren’t confirmed until you’re standing next to each other at the local coffee house or hot date spot. Chemistry and authentic connection are rarely found through words on the page.
Don’t…
Reveal confidential information about yourself before you meet. Give out your cell number. Sure (unless valuable information is provided when one Googles your cell number). Your home address? I’d save that for later. Your last name may give them more information than you want them to have before meeting up. Your photo can be dragged off your profile and dropped right into the search bar of Google, followed by a click on “image.” If you have that same image posted anywhere else on the web, one can obtain even more information about you. Scary, huh? We are living in the Google age, people.
Your Demeanor
Do…
Be yourself—authenticity rules.
Don’t…
Be aloof, come with a script, or try to play it cool. That’s a surefire way to miss a possible real connection.
Good luck out there!
