Life: puzzled perplexity

Life’s journey beholds things. Things which will leave one experiencing the obscure emotions of desolation, confusion and ample amounts of hopelessness.

(In property law context, things carry sentimental value; so hold onto your trolley, this story has a somewhat, desirable ending).

Lost. So lost that not even google maps can find you.

Feeling suffocated, almost like drowning in a Jacuzzi (of course the jets are switched on), you constantly attempt to redeem and free yourself from this rut, but the current shunts you around like a torn, plastic packet, engulfed in a rip tide. You are swallowed into the stomach of confusion, and instead of being a Jonah, relentlessly praying to be regurgitated from out of the whale, your impotent mind keeps you idle.

Life, the dormant dragon, awakening from its slumber; puffing some candle sized flames our way. Us, prancing around at the receiving end, not being alerted by our ‘bulletproof’ bubble, we get spray tanned with reality, which is 50 shades of totally not your color.

Stephen Hawking and Leonard Mlodinow theorized that people galvanize their own universes, inferred from their senses and experiences. Thus, our realities are carved by our unique collection of sensory nerves, helping us to make sense of life’s events spewing in our direction. If the goggles fit, we have an innate propensity in keeping them fixed, only viewing the world through this convenient frame. ‘Although we are puny and insignificant on the scale of cosmos, this makes us in a sense the lords of creation’.

‘But common sense is based upon everyday experience, not upon the universe’ said Hawking and Mlodinow.

The torch was invented to cure darkness. Sunglasses shy the eyes away from the fierce, yellow man peering down from above. Frosted, dark walls, smother our eyes when sleeping (except those ‘who sleep with one eye open’). We embrace these curtains, blanketing our vision from the frightening presence of reality, just as long as we choose the terms and conditions that they are accompanied with. Why? Is this perhaps, because the unknown threatens the control over our perceived known? The dark seemingly removes us from our ascertained models, swiftly taking the control from our clenched fists, and gently paving the road into the future, without any compass, watch or map at hand.

Virginia Woolf once said, “The future is dark, which is the best thing the future can be, I think.”

I think”. Two words, huddled together and reminding us that all we can really do in this sense- making voyage, is; think. Thinking, the first hop on the hop scotch pattern, leading to more, mind sneezes and infinite trails of possibilities. But knowing, is the yellow clamp on your vehicle’s wheel when parked in the disabled parking, after strolling into the shop. Our perceived knowing rigidly suctions only what your primary or peripheral vision can detect. We only see what is stationed in front of us.

“”I think” indicates — to be uncertain even about its own assertion,” says Rebecca Solnit.

Is this a sign from whoever sent us down here, that maybe, just perhaps, we are not meant to see or know it all? Although David Eagleman, a renowned neuroscientist, states that the brain subconsciously stores information, even whilst we feel brain-dead during our slumber. But, this still does not mean that our 15 centimeter long brain, is supposed to know everything the vastness of the universe beholds?

Laurence Gonzalez wrote, ‘a plan, a memory of the future, tries on reality to see if it fits’.

Planning. Structuring. Organizing. I do not know about you, but something about ticking off a to-do list in a diary is incorrigibly pleasurable. It emanates a sense of control and ‘Joan of Arc’ strength in me. But then again, little do I know, that the future is peering at my pre-emptive guide into the unknown, with its actual plan approaching me, on a bouncing ball made from gravity.

Every fleeting moment, staggering away from our control, we adapt, change, and develop, into something somewhat different from yesterday. Our perception of the thinking, of the knowing, changes, or the entire model morphs into something categorically, estranged and new to our established, handmade world.

“Or is the true self neither this nor that, neither here nor there, but something so varied and wandering that it is only when we give the rein to its wishes and let it take its way unimpeded that we are indeed ourselves?” said Virginia Woolf.

Lost, because everything you thought you knew, dispersed and disintegrated into the wind of nothingness, making way for an endless reign of infinitely, new ‘knowings’.

Talking Heads said that “we’re on a road to nowhere”, but be sure to make it your significant somewhere. The words “you can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need” rolled off the tongues of the great Rolling Stones. And lastly, the Beatles buzzed the melodious “let it be”, to remind us oxygen thieves that at the end of the day, we are all just children of the wind, trying to find direction. But perhaps accepting the realities of ‘not knowing’ and remembering that we are just another character in the book of life, might make the beauty of the present journey we are currently venturing through, more evident.

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