The mind and dealing with people.
In a conversation with someone yesterday, I mentioned that one of the hardest and most necessary things to do in life is for people to come together.
I hold to this because it’s almost always a risk in my opinion and one that must be taken. We never know what’s going on in a person’s mind and vice versa. A person may have good intentions toward you but you perceive it as something else (danger). You may have ill intentions towards a person but somehow they may not be able to detect it. Either way, there is distrust at some point, the first is initial while the other comes later.
So how do we trust? how do two people come together and decide they are going to commit to each other for the rest of their lives?
I am always intrigued by old couples still in love and ever so often, I love to hear their stories, I would always love for them to talk about the travails they have faced through the journey of life and how they have managed through the flaming furnace of life’s trials and disciplines.
And not just that, I love to speak to the elderly about friendships in life, what has it been like for them? how did they cope after betrayal and how did they manage with people knowing that there is hardly ever any commitment in friendships as there are in relationships?
What I have found so far is that life is very very different for different individuals. An old man from Nigeria and an old man from the UK would have entirely different stories and levels of experience in life. Different shades of them too. Because Nigeria is a tough country, and the UK not as tough (In my opinion), the Nigerian old man would have a richer well of knowledge and experiences as opposed to an old man that has lived in the UK for most of his life.
I take comfort in this that no matter how much stories I gather, It’s never going to be enough for me, because my own life could take an entirely different trajectory. I could learn from their mistakes and the advice that they give me, but I should never bank on them to dictate the course of my life.
So what do I do? I commit everything to God’s hands really, because that’s all there is left to do. Talk to the one who knows where my life is headed and leave it all there; the distrust, the uncertainties, the doubts, etc. Then I have to obey, He has called me to love, and love I will. He has called me to be patient and patient I will be, He has called me to forgive and forgive I will.
This is what will guide me in my friendships and relationships, to deal sincerely and whatever comes after that, good or bad, I still leave in God’s hands because truly, I can not control anything at all.
Writing all of this has brought so much peace to my heart and I’ll drop my pen for now. Also, be expecting some stories…
Let me know what you think in the comments and if you have any experiences you would love to share, bye for now.
