Heartbreak….Congratulations!!!
“Are you insane!! Its horrible to bear the pain of heart break! And you are saying Congratulations!!” You must be thinking that.
And of course when it has happened to me, I have also not thought about it this way. Of course, heartbreak is always worse than any physical pain. At least others can see the physical wound and console you, doctor can apply some ointment and give you medicines. Follow the well known path and everything will be healed with the time and most importantly love we get from others while in hospital bed. Especially, from the person you love the most, which heals like magic.
But now we have a heart break, it pains like hell, but no one can help you! Magical person is gone!! Phew.
Forget about help, no one other than your close buddies (if you have one, you are lucky!) will even know about it! And above that you have to Smile in front of others with a crying heart inside!! Of course you can't share it with your boss or colleagues or neighbour!
Now, Whatever healing has to be done has to be carried out by only one person and that is ‘YOU’! Wow! Imagine a serious accident case patient, who have to treat own wounds!
When it has happened to me, I have left no stone unturned to get him back in my life. I have tried going to temples, to astrologer, performing rituals even gone to gatherings of other religions, nadi readings and what not, but all in vain! Nothing has worked, at the end of day I find a highly demotivated person weeping between the sheets!! And the best part comes when our mind starts enjoying being victim, and we do not want to come out of it, and starts enjoying the sad songs and feel that I was so good and why the other person did this to me?!! But that certainly doesn’t help!
Everything seems to be a strategic planning as if someone has intentionally left me in this situation to find out something of higher nature, but keeping an eye on me from distance. Just like a good father, who let the child play, fall and get up but keeps an eye on child to ensure he doesn’t hurt himself.
Then one day, I have stopped trying to get him back into my life (although hope for miracle was still alive) and started searching for answer to the question, “Why it has happened with me.” From that day everything has started to fall on place. I took three years to overcome completely. But my transformation has begun that day!
So, what is the solution?!! Actually we have two roads from this point :
- Get depressed, make your life hell, look destroyed, talk negative (Bonus is that people will start avoiding you, Who wants to talk to a cribbing person)
- Another beautiful way is to just Surrender to God and just leave yourself in His lap!! Widen your vision and let the universe heal you.
Greater the Pain, Greater the transformation as Greater is the seeking.
Of course no one needs guidance for first option, so we will talk about option no. 2.
For a second just keep your love and pain aside and try to analyse and think from wider perspective. Imagine to see yourself sitting in your house weeping from some point in universe away from Earth. Doesn’t it seems funny looking at yourself from there!! Crying for another person who doesn’t seems to care about your feelings!
Sitting at some point in universe ask yourself, “Have I really gone on earth to cry for a man/ women or there is some other purpose?” There you go, as you ask this question. Your life turns around.
Of course, it will take time to heal and fill the lacuna. But you will start understanding the reason why that person has entered your life to exit. Keep your pain aside for a moment and Pay attention, his exit must have done something great for you, for your transformation, for a better understanding of life, for turning you into a better version of yourself.
His/ her exit from your life is not just by chance. It has a greater meaning, a greater purpose. Try to find out that reason. One day you will thank God for whatever pain you have gone through.
But what to do till the time transformation is in process and pain is hurting you?
- Distract Yourself: Whenever you remember the person, try to distract yourself. Tell your mind you do not want to think about this person. It will take time to practice as all other things. But it will work.
- Beingmates: Be with the being — person/ animal/ plants etc you feel good with. For me being with small children or dogs makes me instantly happy and I forget whatever big pain I have. Try to be with your beingmate.
- Meditate: Yes, meditation is one stop solution for every problem which exist on earth. So, it works in this situation too. And will help in your healing and transformation.
- Expectations: Whenever you feel sad about your unfulfilled expectations, remind yourself to drop that particular expectation. And empty your bucket list gradually. If there are no expectations left there will be no pain left.
And just Don’t worry, world is still beautiful. Keep the love within you intact as that’s a beautiful feeling. Extend that love to everyone around you. Give others what you have expected to get from others. In turn you will get what you deserve and is good for you. Keep smiling.
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f : @backtowellbeing, @Wellbeingbyanu
Email: voiceofanu@gmail.com
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