My Growing Fear of Email
“Oh god, did I spell their name right? Did I sign off correctly? What if my brain went commando and I wrote ‘Apple Sucks Farts’ in there?!”. As I continue my foray into the wild jungles of unemployment, swinging on vines of self-doubt and occasional hope, I have found out something about myself.

This little bugger here, gives me huge amounts on anxiety. Unreasonable amounts so. To me it has become the modern day “Did I turn off the stove off when I left the house?”, which to me isn’t even an issue because I’m an adult, and an amazing cook, with property insurance. But when it comes to sending potential employers my credentials of viability and competence - my hopes and dreams as it were, I freak out of proportion. For the most part I am careful with my words, especially in a professional setting. Yet I cannot stop myself from imagining that I left the proverbial door unlocked. It’s not even always job related, hell, sometimes I sit on an email for a couple days when I’m replying to my cousin.
The Solution: Send in 5.
I know Gmail has an undo send grace period of 30 seconds, but I can’t trust that, and setting the email to be delivered at an arranged time doesn’t work for the same reason I can’t just proof read it one more time.
The feature needs to be hidden in the settings somewhere, undercover so you may trick your own psyche. Like a clock set 5 minutes ahead.
Placing it in the mailbox to be carried away by the mail client, I can step away, turn my attention to something else, and then with a reinvigorated sense of panic over consistent use of analyse/analyze, run to the mailbox, look over the email, assure myself the house isn’t on fire, take no further action, and know all is well.
Dedicated to Oliver Browne — “Have you heard about medium? It’s twitter’s backup plan.”
