Open Letter: A Lifetime of Disliking Casey Neistat

I did some math … if one percent of 0.5B views are ‘dislikes’ it adds up to a lifetime of suffering.

Dear Casey Neistat,

You made a name on HBO and you might be the best storyteller on “YouTube” but it needs to stop. If you survive to vlog #365 you will have generated roughly 2.5M subscribers, 500M views and 48 hours of content in a single year— really bad news for the 1%. The ‘haters’.

You might think having 99% positive voting is an achievement but I’m about to tell you you’re wrong. With your level of popularity; that 1% is basically murder.

800 million hours of liking Casey? We must not forget the 900 thousand hours spent in despair. Babies, drones and cameras falling over will not soothe the blood-rage. You have not entertained us enough. No, we demand computer animated bears. No CGI? At least an MMA-style slap-fight between Jack and Matt where loser is forced to spend a week in a lime-green body-suit with the letter ‘B’ scrawled on the front.

1% dislike? We demand zero. Put an end to the suffering Casey. 140 lifetimes enjoying your content won’t atone for a lifetime’s worth of misery (two lifetimes if you include Candice).

Am I kidding? Of course. The math however, is real.*


ABOUT THE AUTHOR

DANIEL VOSHART is a cinematographer and designer from Canada. Feel free to hate him on Medium or Twitter.


SOURCES: Future projections and historical channel data via Social Blade.

* ASSUMPTIONS and THE MATH:

  • 1: The ratio of likes v. dislikes scales to all the people who don’t vote.
  • 2: Based on an 18h waking day and living to the age of 85.
  • 3: Roughly a 75% video completion rate.
  • 4: Assumptions 2&3 can be jimmied up and down to come to the same conclusion. I will defend my clickbait math to the grave.