Are you proud to be Vietnamese?
Recently a friend of mine asked me if I am proud of being Vietnamese. I answered him immediately that I am proud of who I am, and I have carefully considered this answer.
I was born in a period when the Vietnamese people had just emerged from decades of isolation. Where we were back then is where Iran, Cuba and North Korea are now, without the benefits of the Internet and modern communication tools.
Even as a kid, I could sense the deep feeling of losses, sadness and regrets that had blanketed my people. Wars, hatred, internal strife and poor management had taken many opportunities away from us. As Vietnam rejoined the international community, we found ourselves lagging behind our neighbors in all economic measures, who then continued to outpace us. It seemed that Vietnam had fallen too far behind to play catch up. I was quite young to pinpoint and articulate what felt wrong, but I could tell that something was not right.
My parents, teachers and other adults often told me that Vietnam had once been richer and more developed than Singapore or Korea. I observed that some Vietnamese people had an irrational fear of foreigners and thought that any foreign product would be better than any domestic product. There were crazes in Vietnam for Japanese, Korean and Chinese music and shows, and everybody seemed too distracted to care about preserving or developing our own spiritual and cultural heritage.
As I grew up, I found these sentiments troubling. We cannot change what happened, but we can shape the future. If I become too fixated on the past, I will miss the opportunities in the present. If I am afraid of my competitors, I cannot win. The global market is an economic competition. I have to let go of my fears.
How to let go of fears? I searched for the answer inside philosophical books and holy texts. When I was 10 or 11 years old, I came upon a verse from a Buddhist text which explains that all phenomena are “empty”, without an intrinsic existence. Feeling inspired, I reasoned that if all phenomena are without intrinsic existence, then I am “equal” to anybody else. From this absolute perspective, these fears are perceived as an irrational expression without any basis. This conviction became the foundation of my beliefs.
As I learned more science, the more convinced I felt that on average the human genetic differences are very, very small, and that our environment and education determine the quality of our thoughts and actions. Therefore, after mostly taking care of my fears, I needed to take care of my education.
English is important to me, so I always make sure that my command of English is constantly improving. Vietnamese education and culture do not emphasize on debates and arguments, so I tried to improve by engaging quality discussions and debates with my friends and teachers. Now I am an argumentative Vietnamese.
These days I have met more Vietnamese kids who try to compete in international competitions in order to prove that “Vietnamese people do not suck.” I am empathetic to them, but I think they need to let go of this desire for validation. The world has much to offer, and I have profited immensely from learning from everybody. If I were to remain in a competitive, closed mindset, it would have been difficult for me to discern the good qualities in others. Besides, if I am looking for external validation, it implies that I am insecure inside.
I look to the world as friends and equals. My friends, my teachers, and the people who know me know the qualities of my works and my determination. The people who do not know me will figure out after meeting me, as I like to communicate myself clearly.
I am determined to bring my parents to to see the world. A lifetime internalization of fears and regrets cannot be attacked with arguments alone, but the living experience easily disprove previous beliefs. I want my parents to stand by my shoulder and conceptually grasp the vision of the world that I perceive.When my parents visited MIT, I brought them to see all the people that I knew, from my roommates, my friends to my tutors, my professors and even the guy who fixed my bicycle. I think it was quite an eye-opening trip, and my parents made a few friends too, even though they barely knew any English.
Ho Chi Minh, perhaps looking from his own history of colonial enslavement, is said to wish that one day the Vietnamese people will stand on the world’s stage shoulder-by-shoulder as equals to others. I cannot comment about everyone in Vietnam, but I feel that I now stand, shoulder-by-shoulder, as an equal to everyone in the world, and so do my parents too by association. Perhaps I can take this as a personal achievement.
I am Vietnamese and I am also Indian, Tibetan, Japanese, Singaporean, American, and more. I am an amalgamation of what works for me. I love Vietnamese culture and products and constantly and shamelessly advocate for quality Vietnamese produces, but I am also a student of Tibetan Buddhism, Japanese aesthetic sensibilities, and Singaporean diehard pragmatism. I read Greek and Roman history and English literature and love Indian food. I am a fan of Bach, Beethoven and Brahms.
I am profoundly thankful to all the people who have taught me what I know. I also hope to share some of the rich cultural and spiritual tradition of the Vietnamese people to the world. The cycle of knowledge transmission must flow, easily and ceaselessly. I look forward to making gifts for the world.
My spirit is a roaring sea.
