What to do When You Feel Lost and Empty Inside (And The Reasons Why)
A little while ago, I encountered one post from quora.com that state the inner condition of the post’s writer.
That short, but brutally honest post goes like this :
“I think I’m lost. I really don’t know how to live the rest of my life. I feel hopeless and depressed, with no goals or dreams. What should I do?”
The post got many answers and encouragement, mostly because it is so relatable.
I suspect that many, many people in this modern world has felt it in some point of their life.
Feeling like your life is empty.
Feeling like you are without hope.
Feeling like you are heading towards nothing in life,
or worse : Feeling like being dead is actually sounds better than alive.
And it is a sad condition, considering the fact that we have got so many resources to go and help ourselves.
If only we understand ourselves better.
If you are experiencing this condition right now, my deepest sympathy goes to you. You have to know that you are not alone. You have to realize and understand that these hard times you are facing right now is not gonna last forever.
It seems cliche, I know.
But it’s true.
Time is the only thing that will reveal a brighter future and vision towards yourself, and it will be very wise of you if you choose to enjoy this moment as resting period.
Cultivate and take care of yourself because this will help you tremendously.
The Main Cause of Inner Emptiness
Kaitlyn Slight, a marriage and family therapist in Raleigh, N.C, said that there are many reasons why we feel empty and lost inside. Many of us experiencing life-changing moments and we are not ready to face it.
The lost of a loved ones could be one of that reasons.
We are so used to receiving certain affection from some people and when they go away or no longer give that affection, it leaves a big hole in our heart. And I personally think that this is justified reason, it is completely okay for us to grieve for this person as long as we know when stop.
You could also manifesting inner emptiness and feeling lost inside by many different faucets.
“I hate my job, have no passion for it whatsoever.”
“I’m not getting enough human contact and none of satisfying relationship.”
“My partner doesn’t love me anymore.”
“I feel so alone and lonely.”
And so many more.
Could you see the wide theme, but one core red-line in these problems?
The main reason for all of these problems is a lack of love.
Of course I don’t just mean romantic love, because love can come in so many different ways.
You have to love you work if you want to become more passionate in it.
You have to love your significant other if you want to feel more intimate and connected to them.
You have to love yourself if you want to get rid of these inner feeling of emptiness.
Living an Empty Life
You might not notice it before, but when you are feeling lost and empty inside, you kind of going through life in autopilot mode.
You wake up, brush your teeth, wash your face, and do everything you need to do without really thinking about it because it is so familiar to you.
You are no longer a human, you are now a robotic human beings incapable of feeling the sensation of happiness anymore.
“What has my life become?” You might ask yourself. “I don’t sign up for life only to live a soulless live like this!”
Maybe my above sentence wasn’t quite right.
That’s not exactly what you are saying because you aren’t even aware that you are living a soulless life. You don’t even understand what a soulless life means.
Well, now you will.
A soulless life is a life without much meaning anymore.
We live in modern time where success is being measured by how much money you get. Or how pretty your significant other is.
You are trained to be busy for something you don’t actually care of.
Being busy impressing others that have different values than yourself.
Being busy doing something you don’t even know why you are doing it in the first place.
And as a result, you become a human without imagination.
In your eyes, being playful and creative is for hippies. They don’t make money.
You learn to tame your inner needs and wants, leaving you living a life of suppression and lies.
You no longer listen to yourself, and therefore, there is a big, black hole of yourself that’s pounding and crying for help.
And these empty and lost feeling is one of the way your subconscious mind reminds you that there is more to life than this.
On Self Love and Self Care
To be able to ‘fill the void’ that is haunting you and keeping you away from truly enjoying life, you must be able to understand the root problem or cause of that so-called emptiness.
More often than not, however, you have to learn to love yourself more and practice doing this consciously.
Maybe you would think that ‘another meditation advice’ don’t help much, but it really is worth trying.
When you are meditating, you are being there with only the real you, the true you, without the monkey mind that usually always there, constantly nagging you even before you are about to fall asleep.
Understand that this monkey mind is part of your ego, and not the real ‘you’. Your core being that is inside yourself. (Note : I will write about this more later. )
Beside meditating, there are certain things that you can also do to make sure that you get enough love and self care from yourself, because it is what you needed the most at times like this.
These things include :
1. Move your body often.
It is no secret that the more your body being taken care of through working out, the more you will feel good inside. You will be much more energetic and basically ready to slash whatever it is that you need to do.
If you are working behind a desk, this is even adding more necessity for you to really set aside time to just move and sweat.
2. Really noticing what you are eating/consuming.
Ever heard the sentence, “You are what you eat”?
If you think that this phrase is overuse, it’s because it is true. There are times when I feel so energized because I ate a healthy diet and then another times when I feel like crap because I ate crappy foods.
Strawberries, grapes, healthy nuts, and different kinds of veggies are only example of those foods that are really really good for your body.
And don’t forget that they taste delicious. You can never go wrong with these foods.
3. Make sure you have enough amount of good sleep.
It sounds simple, and it is.
You get enough sleep, you are energized and productive for the next day.
You get little to no amount of sleep, you are useless the next day.
This is the case with 90% population of planet earth. (I made up that statistic, but you get the point, right?)
This is usually the case with successful people from all around the world. They don’t laying around in front of the TV at 3 AM, watching those ridiculous ads on products nobody wants to buy unless they are tripping and stay awake at 3 AM.
Successful people sleep early, and wake up early to chase their dreams.
4. Regularly take enough rest and relaxation.
You are worthy enough of your attention. In fact, you are the most worthy person to do it.
Whether or not you feel like it, you deserve to feel better. And one of the most important way to make yourself feel good is to not overdone any of your work.
Get appropriate amount of rest and relaxation.
Enjoy your life.
If you are a woman like me, you could take time to cultivate your relationship with yourself by providing self care.
Do something that make yourself happy.
5. Plan your alone time.
Whether you are single or in a committed relationship, some alone time is always better for the quality improvement of your life.
Reconnect with yourself.
Detach from negative energies and make sure that you use this time wisely.
You can come back to the ‘real world’ immediately after, feeling more refreshed and fulfilled than ever.
6. Invest in fulfilling relationship.
I remember watching a youtube advice video about relationship advice.
As you grow older and independent financially, you will find that your life is actually much like a party. You have the choice to invite someone in it, or not inviting that someone.
When someone is shitting in your party, there is only one choice to do : let them get away from you and your party. This is only logical.
Because you don’t wanna let your party get ruined because of this one person, right?
Cutting people off is not something selfish, sometimes you have to do it to make room for the people who actually deserved to be in your life (and your party).
The new people who loves you, and you love. And most importantly, those who doesn’t shit on your party.
7. Forgive yourself for your past mistakes.
Human beings are one smart-ass race, one that is able to procreate this much in this planet. (Eventually becoming the only ‘homo’ species in earth, while our ancestor brother, homo neanderthalensis, becoming extinct about 40,000 years ago.)
However, this doesn’t mean that we can’t make mistakes.
We hold on for this long because we continuously make mistakes, making us aware of what needs to be changed in order to improve.
And this is precisely why making mistakes is really important for you and your life.
In school, we are taught to never making any mistake, which leaves us constantly worry about our every move.
“Do I state the exact date of this person’s birth right in that test?”
“Am I really sure that those essays I just made are 100% free from plagiarism?”
“Shit, I can’t run in the hallway, that teacher will scold me!”
“Shit, I can’t wear my yellow socks on Monday!”
And bunch of other useless rules we know ridiculous, yet must obey.
I have to make whole other article about this but school is designed to make robotic worker that is obedient and only smart enough to do what they’re supposed to do, but not smart enough to question why they have to do it in the first place.
And this is why they don’t want you to make mistakes.
They want to keep you in control.
Don’t play by their rules, because this is your life. Play your own rules.
Make mistakes. Sometimes regret it, but then do this : forgive yourself, and move on!
The Last, Most Important Key Ingredients
You have done every single little thing that I stated above.
You have your own little alone time. You pamper yourself every Saturday night.
You talk and laugh a lot with your family.
You even studying new language because it is your recent passion : you want to talk fluent Mexican language.
Because you find that their men are absolutely gorgeous with oh-so-hot body and you want to talk to one of them and wow them with your fluency. (Right, it is totally about you, not my personal opinion whatsoever) *wink*
But still, when you are sitting sleep in your bed at nights, you find that you can’t get to sleep because that empty void comes back again.
Now, let me wake you up with one simple quote from Muhammad Ali.
I will now give you a moment to have your epiphany.
Alright, let’s continue.
We are all as human beings are very social creatures. One core purpose of us being here is to help ourselves and others improve their way of living life.
You will feel fulfilled when you help yourself being happy, but never complete.
To give something to other people and to do whatever you can to improve their life is simply one of the best feelings you can ever experience because it gives you another level sense of accomplishment.
You make yourself useful for others.
And trust me, that will make you happy.
Call for Action
To put simply, what you can do when you experience these inner feelings of emptiness is this :
- Examine gently why you are feeling what you are feeling. Choose your reasons based on your recent experience, and try to improve your situation slowly.
- Give yourself enough self-care and self-love. This might be what you needed the most.
- Give everyone around you love. And try to give anything that you care capable on giving, for the improvement of other people’s life.
Take your time, and always remember to enjoy your life.
Remember, life is not a competition. It’s a journey and it will be very wise of us if we choose to experience everything and enjoying every bit of it.
Now, I will close this article with one quote I find very useful.
” The pursuit of something positive can itself be negative experience,
While the acceptance of something negative can itself be positive experience. “
You made it!
Thankyou so much for reading and see you soon in the next post!
(Originally published at soulpiration.wordpress.com)
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