For me, I am the happiest person I know. Here’s how I am happy most of the time.
Firstly, what is your definition of happiness, or when do you get happy?
Happiness means different things to everyone. For me, it’s peace, its sortedness (I know it’s not a word).
If the opinions of others affect you to the core (good or bad), if external factors make you miserable, then your emotions can be controlled externally; hence you cannot be happy all the time. Happiness comes from within. It’s a choice you make. When you have given the command of your happiness to the things that are not in your control, how do you think you will be happy all the time. Being happy and joyous is a skill which can be learned.
For me, it’s a state of mind where I am peaceful irrespective of the situation I am in. People form their personalities over time and then try to change the world the way their personalities want it. Then they get unhappy if things are not happening according to the way they want. But as Naval Ravikant says in his book, The Almanack of Naval Ravikant:
We think of ourselves as fixed and the world as malleable, but it’s we who are malleable, and the world is largely fixed.
If you think I will be happy after getting this job, house, car, or some luxurious lifestyle, you know it’s a vicious loop. Those things do get you some social status, but good social status is not a real joy. It’s temporary. You never stop there every time you set an aim for something more prominent after achieving your last goal. “Desire is a contract that you make with yourself to be unhappy until you get what you want.”, again by Naval Ravikant. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do anything in life or not aim for anything in life. I am just asking you to not wait to get happy until you achieve something; all I am asking is to learn to be happy in the present.
Only you are responsible for your inner mental state. No one else can be blamed for that. Similarly, you are not responsible for anyone’s happiness, and if someone is not pleased and expects stuff from you, then their expectations are their problem, not yours. If you are happy, then people around you will absorb those happy vibes you radiate.
The universe has lived for 13.6 billion years and will live for another some billion years. You are here for a very short time; being miserable is just not acceptable. People will not remember you after a couple of generations. Not being happy and not enjoying this incredible life will not help you escape miserable situations. Limited time you have got. Spread some love, do your work, value this life and be blissful. Be grateful that you have got this incredible life.
Happiness and Sortedness are the very same thing.
Being sorted is the key. How can you be sorted?
THINK: People spend significantly less time thinking about what they want to do. They just keep doing what society and the people around them want them to do. Give yourself some time and think. Don’t wait for the right time to start, never forget it’s “present” which is real.
Meditate: If you cannot sit with yourself and your own thoughts, then there is something terribly wrong with what you call life. Just sit there and look at your thoughts. Observe them. Deal with your bad(unresolved) memories, and with time, you will get free from them. You will accept them. You will reach a peaceful and blissful state.
Read: Read as much as you can. Reading will solve many of your queries and give you different life perspectives. Someone far more sorted than you has spent a tremendous amount of time to get those learnings to you. Make sure you get the best out of them.
And…..
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Signing offf!!!
