You can’t win in this job

Lionel Messi — my all time football hero

A 60 year old lady waddled into my clinic.

“Doctor, I’m getting fat. I need some medicine to reduce my tummy and weight.”

“You’re in the wrong clinic, madam. I am a gynecologist, not a general physician.”

“No doc, I was sent here by the physician doctor.”

I examined her. She had a grossly enlarged tummy, but the rest of her body was quite thin. A scan showed an enormous tumor.

We operated on her the next day. The tumor was 18 inches (45 cm) in diameter. With both my hands around the cyst I could not even budge it. The scrub nurse joined in and with double the biceps power we were able to remove the cyst.

I cut the excess skin and tissues, located the muscles on either side and brought them together. The lady now had a flat tummy that any 20 year old model would be proud of.

Needless to say, m’lady was very happy with my cosmetic surgery. She did not care that she had an ovarian tumor. To her, I was the doctor who had made her slim again.

To this day, she sends all her overweight friends to me. All of them want a flat tummy like hers.