Making my way down the winding road to campus yesterday was such a different feeling. It was as if I was living a different life altogether today. This was how college was really, each day had the chance of bringing something so completely new, changing all of what you thought the day before. I was smiling childishly the whole way to main campus. I did not realize until later that in all my whimsy I was being attentively eyeballed. I suppose it was a curious scene even in the 21st century — my how times have not changed. It all came back to me in the blink of an eye and the eyes were growing as we made our way closer to the Arts quad. I did not even remember passing the bridge. I could tell she was apprehensive and so I attempted to make it easier for her.
“I do hope I’ll be seeing you somewhere some time soon, Auburn. I have to talk to the T.A. before class so I’m about to head to Goldwin Smith.” The relief on her face was painfully apparent.
I could not blame her for being so relieved. She was being watched and judged as was I. It could have also been because she was walking together with the boy who tried to yell the masses straight last night. Either way, I am sure having a ginger beside me did not sit well with the conservatives of either race. Because we are different races, like wolves and sheep, we are destined to hate one another forever, never reaching a suitable compromise for coexistence. It was quite the bullshit if you asked me. It was not that people were looking at me that concerned me but why they felt they had to look at us while we were together, that was the annoyance. It is still not alright that I walk down the street with a white women and the irony was that people that were looking at me look more like me than they do her. White girls are for whites only, no equal opportunity here. So the same people once hollering for that equality will not afford me such a thing. Will we ever win this fight against ourselves? But who was I kidding. There is not fight to be won, its over already. Yes, we are free but we have lost. The world we live in is seen through the same lense, it is still black and white just now with high definition.
A group text from the goons brought me back and made me laugh. Ken sent a funny photo of EJ that some girl put on Facebook. If EJ was the kind of guy to trample a girl for such misgivings he surely would have done that for this offense.
I thought about skipping class. I did not see the point, well I saw less of a point to go than other days but I fancied Professor Frasier and this class a great deal more than most others so I made my way to the lecture hall.
The class before us had gone over and people were spilling out like ants. I saw a couple of people I was acquainted with and exchanged the usual pleasantries. I walked up towards the back of the room to grab a seat.
My mind was racing against itself and thoughts I had no control over sped every which way. I was mentally exhausted before the day even started and I felt weak because of it, as though I was not in control yet again — go figure. I made it a point to stay put together, I prided myself in that. I assumed the proper posture and sat straight in my seat, fixed my tie and took out my notebook. I scanned the room for some life and then caught a glimpse of a class act below me to the right of the lecture hall. The teddy girl herself, a damn cool girl with black leather and brown skin. I waited until she looked back to get her attention. She finally looked and I did a little half salute with two fingers to the top of my brow. She returned with a nod and smile then proceeded my way.
“Why do you always wear your shades inside, there isn’t any sun around and we are in Ithaca at that.” Tahira was smiling as she took her seat beside me. She was such a miraculous meek woman who knew the worth of her mettle.
“Because there isn’t a place where I don’t shine, you hear me?” She rolled her eyes and laughed and then stopped abruptly showing her distate with my comment. She took her iPhone out.
“Scheduling a dinner date are we?” I was being curious, just playing the field. She looked at me just as curious.
“Mots said she’ll be in Uris tonight and I was just telling her I’ll be there too. I usually go to Mann Library but she swears Uris is better.” I decided to hold off on talking about Uris because class was starting. “Do you remember what topic we’re on this week, Hails?” She asked without looking away from her phone.
“You think, huh? Well at least you’re doing that right, thanks for nothing sugar.” She laughed and put her phone away. Professor Frasier was finished talking to the T.A. and started writing on the board an outline for today’s class, something he did before every class.
However, the professor stopped before continuing his list and turned around to look at the class, shaking the piece of chalk in his hand, and fixing his glasses. He dressed like a Brit though I do not imagine he was one. His hair was wild and he could not have been more than 60 years old but the wrinkles on his skin betrayed him.
“Can someone who was there tell me what happened last night? We only have but so much time but we professors need to take more time throughout the day to talk about current and interesting events.” He stated as a matter of fact. I was fond of this habit the professor had to go on about things he found interesting but this was a setup. I sunk in my chair just a little bit so as not to be the one he would call out. “Who was there? Anyone…” The class started buzzing like high school children and I could see some students looking at Tahira and I. Still no one said anything. “I heard there was some talk of the American Dream last night and so I was curious if anyone could enlighten the class further.” He began pacing back and forth hoping very much someone would indulge him.
“Professor Frasier,” Tahira put her hand up indicating that should would be the one to cool his fretting. “America is essentially a dream, this is some of what I was saying last night. A dream within a dream and like most of our dreams it has not been realized but by a handful of us. Do the lot of us even know or really conceive of what freedom and democracy is? America is not really that land. We turn freedom in for peace without ever thinking about it until it is too late. We are free to do as the government allows and I’m not saying it shouldn’t be so but that we simply understand what we mean when we say freedom. And democracy? Christ, really? Democracy is of Greek origin: dēmos means “people” and kratos “power,” together dēmokratía. You taught us that professor. The people, assuming we mean the greater population, do not hold as much power as do the few that garnered a greater advantage. We no longer seek truth and justice, I don’t need to explain this to you. This a truth we all know and do not talk about because it adds no value in a valueless world. A valueless society split by the vestiges of conservatism and the rushing spring of liberality. The very foundations are a myth: America is not the land of the free nor the land of democracy, at least not for us all. This is the problem we seem never to get. America can’t be that land of the free if it does not provide freedom equally for everyone who lives within it’s borders. It can’t be the land of democracy simply because that was what it was intended to be. Soon the people will come to when resources become even more scarce and you will see. What this kind of democracy has done, what those merchants and expansionists did was tie the idea of democracy together with mercantilism giving birth to a capitalism that has infected our minds. Get money or die. Globalization has taken its course guiding the American Dream along conduits to every human being that can hear or see. This is no mere trend or influence, this dream has become the reason for living and life itself, it is a religion and the future cities will undoubtedly become converts and followers of the dream. It aligns so well with the idea of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness for all mankind.” She was furious in her speech, easing up only at the end of it all. The professor looked wide-eyed not as a child would but as a teacher would when a student has spoken well about what he or she has been taught.
“So is the American Dream untenable?” Should people not try for it? What is better than democracy? Communism?” The professor wanted to push her for more than just critique. Tahira nodded her head understanding that she needed to explain more about this dream of ours or take defeat quietly and let another answer him.
“No communism is impossible and you can blame it on the first person to ever say ‘this is mine.’ Maybe before then men could have lived in a better communist society. But knowing what we know now we simply cannot, it is like when a man has a woman for the first time, there is no going back from that.” I chuckled a bit too loudly and she gave me a quick side-eye for it before carrying on. “Men would not dare live in a stateless contraption patterned on common ownership of the means of production with uniform political, social and economic ideologies. To dream is not wrong. But do 97% need fail at the dream. I understand we cannot all survive the way we would like, where in nature is that possible? However, where in nature is there government like the one which we’ve created? Richard Hofstadter defends capitalism and the free market as an arbiter not just as a means for accumulating money aimlessly. Natural selection affords the best adapted at surviving while the least capable and poorly adapted die out — the new state of nature if you will, the war of men against men has only evolved since the Leviathan’s been penned. Naturally, the best are rewarded for their hard work at becoming the best and winning at this game of life while those unfit to live are punished for laziness or lack of talent, in a perfect or near-perfect way. Yet a presumption occurs today that those who lost were in fact unfit. We make ill assumptions about this darwinism. It is conservative to say the government need not step in to help everyone because everyone must fend for themselves. Well, what if a government has prevented some persons to fend for themselves, what then? I don’t expect an answer. But the sixties show that not all had the right to equal opportunity, in a sense we all haven’t the privilege to play in the market. The black men and women, the women, the Asian gals and guys and all other discriminated peoples were not lazy at all. These people were not allowed to take part and effectively locked out. In the sixties, seventies, and eighties we fought for democracy’s spread all over the world but with a poisoned tint of what democracy is. This venom has seeped into the hearts of people everywhere increasing a disparity that can never be undone. Though I applaud the efforts of the world bank they are fighting a machine that was before their time. Just as they attempt to alleviate poverty they are contending with an enemy who hopes to perpetuate just that.” We were all taking in what she said. The people who looked like they hated her looked like they finally understood why the hated her. I guess so long as they understood something. Tahira did not think they understood though and she continued with the lesson for the day. I loved how she carried the conversation. She was direct in her meaning and her hands were exact in movement. She pointed out to things as if you could see the words in front of you.
“And of course, that would naturally bring us to the question on the role of government in this process of natural selection. The first and greatest Republican said once, ‘The legitimate object of government, is to do for a community of people, whatever they need to have done, but cannot do, at all, or cannot, so well do, for themselves…’ Look at that, he spoke of ‘a community of people,’ not just a certain group of people. H spoke of people who couldn’t do for themselves. Democrats would purport the government shall protect those citizens that can’t do for themselves and that entails strengthening the weak or helpless. This is evident in the health-care bill and democratic views on taxes, paramount subjects that we will no doubt speak on in class. But this is neither here nor there. What is here right now is this. A person who gives more to society should incur less loss and receive more and if the government will intervene should make sure such is the case. However, only on the grounds that his or her dealings are properly based on value and increase the gifts of society. Is that not how it must be? Give to that person who contributes with his own will and power what is his. If society decides to reward the humpty-dumpty CEOs who may or may not work for their money then a problem ensues when that becomes the American Dream. If we live in a perilous world it is only because this is what we have dreamt up.” The professor was satisfied enough to begin class and he seemed a bit, livelier than usual. In fact, the whole class seemed livelier after that. I almost thought people were thinking about what they were saying. It brought something over me that I could not put my finger on. And then a good question by a would-be-thinker sparked me.
“Professor Fasier, I have a question. For all this thought and all these ideas, who is to implement it and how is anyone supposed to know that the person we choose to do so is the right person for the job?” My friend, the would-be-thinker, was earning his life with this one though I am sure he does not know what he has started.
Email me when Christina Phillips publishes or recommends stories