social media sobriety.
How I went from influencer to Instagram-less.
Before you read any further, let me preface this by acknowledging that I’m not a productivity expert or mental health guru of any sort. My credentials for speaking on the toxic effects of social media consist of nothing more than managing an impressive Farmville portfolio on Facebook, getting bullied by my middle school peers on Ask.Fm, and posting an egregious amount of selfies on Instagram.
But most people are just like me. The average American accumulates a whopping 7 hours of screen time daily, 2 to 3 of which are spent on social media apps. Mine was easily higher, so I figured it might be refreshing to hear a perspective from someone who has struggled as much as everyone else. I was quite literally the last person anyone would expect to not have social media — so if I can turn my relationship with social media around, you can too.
Truthfully, I initially didn't think of social media as being all that bad. By the time I turned 22, I had built a modest following on Instagram. Though I definitely never considered myself a full-time “influencer”, I enjoyed many of the perks that came with doing the work on a micro-level — free clothes every month, invites to trendy social events, and some extra income. And most of all, I loved creating content and sharing my life with others.
Slowly but surely, however, social media reared its ugly head. As my use of social media became more serious, my once-optimistic attitude towards it deteriorated.
There were a lot of things I began to dislike about Instagram, but I mostly felt that every time I posted I was putting out ammunition for someone out there to judge me. Funnily enough, I don’t think I ever actually received a single hate comment — but it felt that way silently. No matter how authentically I tried to represent myself online, I felt the presence of this unseen “other” and would fill in the blanks on its behalf.
I toyed with ways around this at first. Despite how horrible it made me feel, social media was one of those damned things I still wanted even though I knew how bad it was for me. Deleting the app off my phone never worked, I’d go out of my way to check my web browser no matter how many authentication steps it took (sad, but you’ve got to admire the perseverance). Trying online tips for limiting my usage and building mental resilience didn’t help either. The reality is that no matter how many self-help books you read or YouTube vlogs you watch, no one is going to cure your addiction for you.
Quitting altogether was was the only way. I had already stopped using apps like Snapchat and Facebook before. It sounds drastic, but deleting my account altogether was much more effective than anything else I had tried (and believe me, I tried everything). With this decision, there was no half-in, half-out.
In 2023, I finally decided enough was enough and deleted my Instagram account. My phone immediately felt lighter. And at the risk of sounding cliche, I’ve never looked back.
In the time since I’ve quit Instagram, I’ve picked up a handful of new hobbies, read dozens of books, and spent hundreds of hours with my family and friends. I’ve also noticed changes that are harder to quantify but are just as meaningful— I’ve become more calm and clear-headed, any feelings of self-doubt or insecurity have virtually disappeared (pun intended), and I’ve given more thought to the intentional use of technology in a healthy manner if I eventually decide to return to Instagram.
My discourse focuses on Instagram because it was the platform I struggled the most with, but this can be applied to any social media app (or digital addiction, for that matter). The principle is the same.
The best part is that after the initial deletion, no more action is required on your behalf. The rest is momentum — the work of maintaining your new (healthier) lifestyle and healing your relationship with yourself and others is done for you. Once you get the ball rolling, it’s like putting good habits on autopilot.
Deleting social media reminds you that there is a lifestyle that exists without it. For anyone who has forgotten how this feels, the good news is that there’s still a way back to real life. You just need to make the first move.
About me: Hi everyone! 👋 My name is Vanessa. I’m a UCLA alumnus and software engineer. I love reading, creating, and sharing my ideas/perspectives with the world! 🧠
Feel free to follow me on Medium or reach out on LinkedIn! Always happy to connect.
