Where’s your daughter at?

A friend of mine, who has a two-year-old daughter, recently posted a photo of herself with her grandmother which sparked a comment from one of her friends who wrote to her “Where your daughter? #threegenerations”. It appears to come from a nice place and it probably doesn’t mean any harm, but it makes me realise that we haven’t figured out how intrinsic and well rooted are our ideas of female roles in family and society.

I don’t believe we question enough whether we believe a mother’s place is to always be looking after the children and that mothers appear, at least to some extent, to have lost some of their personal identity in social media.

I see a lot of my friends who have children and they have photos of their children as profile photos.

I understand that being a parent is, in principle, an honorable job, and that loving and being proud of one’s children is only natural, however, how mothers approach social media, which is supposed to be a reflection of who we are as people, makes me wonder whether we are expected to lose some of our identity as individuals after couples start a family. Of course, the answer would be yes, because being a mother is selfless to a large extent. Yet, my next question would be whether this is good for women and whether it entirely comes from a place as selfless as we would like to believe.

I would believe that we want people to acknowledge our achievements on social media and similar to how we post pictures of other personal achievements, mothers posting pictures and sharing experiences about their children is part of that trend.

Regardless of this natural trend, I wonder whether this is entirely healthy in the long term for women, or whether we feel pressured, even if only subconsciously, to feel like we have to prove ourselves that we are good mothers and if we are made to feel guilty if we attend activities on our own or with friends or if we have achievements of our own.