Getting used to new social etiquette
How the pandemic challenges our notions of what is polite and appropriate behaviour.
Even in the best of times, I was someone who could not stay at home for a whole day. I needed to get out at least once a day for something, anything. If there was no real reason for me to get out of the house, I would make one up. Whether it was to buy chips or soap or a book that I didn’t need or to indulge in some street food, I found a way. Coming from such a place, I, like so many of us, have naturally found the lockdown and social distancing quite hard. Having said that, I have to acknowledge that I am luckier than most because I live in Germany.
In Germany, I am allowed to be outside and hang out with people as long as I follow a few basic rules. If you keep the groups small, maintain adequate distance and wear a mask, you are generally allowed to be outside. So for the past couple of weeks, I have been going out for long walks with my friends to get some sun (a sight for sore eyes where I live) and to maintain my sanity.
On these walks, I have discovered some real gems and places that I wouldn’t have visited if it weren’t for the lockdown. One of these places is a park in the middle of a quiet residential layout in Hamburg. A small haven where families and friends spend time playing games and getting their daily exercise in. All while maintaining a safe distance from strangers. It’s a wonderful and comforting sight.
On my most recent outing there, my friends and I were standing in a corner of the park and nearby, a lady called out to her sons and started packing their bags to go back home. As one of the boys was getting ready, he dropped his water bottle and it rolled away from him. Before I knew it, it had stopped at my feet. My natural instinct was to pick it up and give to him but I remembered that I shouldn’t. I took a lot of will power for me to keep my hands in my pockets and back away from the bottle. The little boy ran over, picked up his bottle and gave me a look. A look of childish innocence, not understanding why I hadn’t just picked up the bottle and handed it over to him like a “normal” person. It was awkward and it was crushing.
As I looked up and watched him run back to his mother, I made eye contact with her. She smiled and gave me an appreciative nod and even waved goodbye as she escorted her sons out of the park. His mother understood and appreciated the gravity of what had just happened. The correctness of my decision to back away and not help was appreciated and rewarded with warmth and kindness by an adult.
A look of childish innocence, not understanding why I hadn’t just picked up the bottle and handed it over to him like a “normal” person.
This incident taught me that in some situations, we need to start re-evaluating what our idea of proper social etiquette is. As with so many other pandemic related things, it is something we will need to figure out as we go. It will be difficult and will sometimes go against what comes naturally to us but we need to be strong and believe that sometimes the right and polite thing to do is to not offer a helping hand. To cross the street when you see someone walking right towards you. And so on. It may go against what we think makes us human but it will also require resilience — perhaps the most human quality of all.
