Falling for the Second Time

First time, you taught me how to love. Second time, you teach me to grab your hand and trust you.

Falling in love with you for the first time, felt like drinking a can of soda; exciting, sweet, and unexpected. Falling in love with you for the second time, feels like drinking water; smooth, with a little hint of sweetness, and essential for my life.

We were highschool sweethearts, but everyone knew highschool sweethearts never last. We were just kids just then, barely know ourselves, let alone getting to know each others. We were selfish.

It was exciting though. Full of ups and downs. One moment we could be sweet to each other, another we could ignore each other. Too dynamic, unstable.

Yet, your name is always there, at the back of my head. A name of someone I used to love, I still love, although a different kind of love. At least it was what I used to believe. I never thought I was in such denial. I’ve always loved you, I still have, and hopefully always will.

Years ago, I hope you would be there to be my shield. Now, you give me what I need; a partner to have my back while we fight our own war. I hope you could also be my home later. To be someone to come home to, to be my safe place. And I hope I could also be your home.

It’s always a mystery to me, why can’t everyone see how perfect you are. I told my friends about you and they feel so envious, saying I’m so lucky to have you. I am, I know I’m lucky. More often than not, I feel like I don’t deserve you. I have nothing to give. I failed to see why you would want me to be by your side.

I don’t regret it. No. Even though there are times when I doubt myself, I doubt us, you assure me that we can handle it. We. It’s enough, more than enough. You assure me that we could be strong together. You assure me that I could trust you because you’ll be there and you trust me to do the same for you. I will.

Alone, I’m scared. But with you, we might make it. Thank you for letting me to fall in love with you. Again.

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