Do you have a second?

It has happened to me on multiple occasions. Either as I am packing up to go home, or as I was walking out for lunch. An employee will catch me and casually ask me if I have a second. Or they may ask me if I have five minutes.

Of course I can spare a short moment.

However, something is odd. This employee rarely wants to meet me on the spot. I often meet with folks for a coffee or go for a walk in the neighborhood. These are some of the best short meetings I have. This employee is not one of the regular people who invites me out.

You can tell by their demeanor that something is up. They have something important to share. They need to share it now. They have fretted to break the news for some time. They talked to their spouses, or discussed it before with a colleague. Now is the time to discuss it with their manager or VP.

By casually asking for five minutes of my time, the employee wants to soften the blow. But it is a trap!

These can the most critical conversations you will have with this employee.

They may ask you for a favor, such as a longer than normal vacation. Or they will announce that they have decided to relocate to a different state. Unfortunately and not uncommon, this is the time they are resigning. All of these scenarios have come up in the past.

I learned that you need to quickly assess the situation. Is this one of those discussions? Or is this a simple “Hey, I wanted to pass along the resume of my friend.”

Ask if this is really a quick and simple 5-minute discussion, or is this important news and we may need more time. If the latter, and since it is urgent, reschedule your next meeting. Adjust your lunch plans. Or in the worst case, arrange for the meeting to happen very soon, but still on the same day.

The employee believes they are merely sharing the news. They believe they are only communicating a fait-accompli. You on the other hand will have a ton of questions. How soon before the moving truck arrives? Does the company already have a business presence in that state? Does the person want to continue working remotely? Do they understand what is involved with working for a home office? Or, why is the person resigning? Do you want to keep them? What would a counter offer entail? Do you know the details of the competing offer? Tons and tons of questions. This takes time. You do not want to rush it, or break this up into multiple meetings.

Over the years, I have learned that a casual coffee meeting, or a regular stroll around the building, can avoid these type of conversations. You will have built up a rapport with the employee so that they feel more comfortable with you. They will realize that this is an important meeting that will require more time.

I have not found a way to effectively replicate this with remote engineers. A casual phone call from the car on my way into the office helps. However it is not the same as an in person meeting.