Sell Me This Pen

The final scene from The Wolf of Wall Street, which I believe to be one of Martin Scorsese’s lesser appreciated films, is, aside from its comedic pairing of Leonardo DiCaprio and Jonah Hill, and their on-screen bacchanalia of drug abuse, spendthrift dinners, sports cars, extramarital affairs, sex addiction (to prostitutes), multiple acts of criminality and attempts to conceal their tracks — or, at least have the contrails of their Swissair flights to Zurich dissolve somewhere over the Atlantic — as they deposit tens of millions of stolen dollars in bank accounts, in this land of political neutrality and moral ambiguity; the ending, where the recently released (from federal prison) DiCaprio, playing the convicted fraudster Jordan Belfort, enters from stage left — thanks to the emcee’s exaggerated introduction by the real-life Belfort — is a perfect tribute to an earlier moment in the movie, and an ideal summation of the art of selling.

DiCaprio goes to each person, in each row, and tells every attendee to “sell me this pen.”

You can watch the enclosed clip, but first, here is how we would sell you that pen.

Remember, however, that the goal is to sell you the pen, nothing more.

This pen is the only pen that banks in the United States will let you endorse checks with. That’s because the manufacturer has a patented ink formula, which the infrared scanners on every ATM machine in America — all 425,000 kiosks — can authenticate as not being a forgery. Bottom line: No pen, no money.
This pen prints your money.