Swing For the Fences

How and why I decided to pursue an opportunity with almost no chance for success, and what I learned in the process.

In 2017 I heard about the Knight Hennessy Scholars Program. This program focuses on developing future global leaders who want to address major social issues through their work. I felt like my passions, personality, and experience aligned closely to the program criteria. It seemed perfect. The problem? The program was at Stanford, one of the most competitive universities in the world. It would be uphill sledding to get in.

As I sized up the situation, I boiled it down to these factors:

The Costs

1. A few hundred hours of work studying for the GMAT and preparing applications. I viewed this as time I could spend investing in something else, but realistically I would have spent most of it sleeping in.
2. Nearly a thousand dollars for study books, test fees, and application fees.

The Potential Rewards

1. Belonging to a community of 100 future global leaders, working across disciplines to address major social issues.
2. A world class education at the Stanford Graduate School of Business.
3. All expenses covered with a living stipend.

Other Factors

1. A high probability of failure. I needed to be accepted into both the business school and the scholars program, each of which had less than a 5% acceptance rate among thousands of qualified applicants.
2. Unlike many others who apply for an MBA at Stanford, I didn’t plan to apply anywhere else. I was specifically attracted to the scholars program and the community that came along with it. There was no consolation prize in the form of getting into another school if I didn’t get into Stanford.
3. I wasn’t a star student in undergrad. I would need to ace the GMAT and knock the application out of the park to have a chance.

I wrestled with this decision for a while, but it ultimately came down to two things.

First, I would regret not trying more than I would regret trying. If I tried and didn’t get in, I could live with it. But I didn’t want to have regret hanging over my head. I later found out Jeff Bezos uses a similar decision making framework.

Second, the potential rewards significantly outweighed the costs. This program would open up more opportunities than most people have in a lifetime. That was worth a relatively small amount of time, money, and lost sleep.

Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash

At the start of 2018, I went all in pursing this dream. From January through May I studied for the GMAT an average of 10–12 hours a week, often times waking up early to get in and do it before my job. (Side note: avoiding Atlanta rush hour traffic was also a BIG motivator to getting in early).

I remember one morning in late February I went in early to study, and I made the mistake of checking my email before cracking open my books. One email was from Stanford, announcing that year’s cohort for the Knight Hennessy program.

It hooked me. Reading through each of their bios was disheartening. Each of them had major accomplishments, awards, and connections. I felt like I could never stack up against them. I didn’t study another minute that week.

I considered quitting. Why would they accept me? I didn’t attend an Ivy League school, win any major awards, write any books, or intern with world leaders. I’m just an average guy from Georgia.

But there was still a seed of doubt in my mind — the good kind of doubt. What if you DO have what it takes? What if you’re underselling yourself? What if you ace the GMAT and submit the best application of your life? What if you get accepted? You’ll never know unless you try. Go for it.

I kept going.

In May, I did well on the GMAT. Not top 1% well, but definitely in the range of what’s needed for Stanford. Throughout the summer, I wrote, reflected, and refined my application, redoing my essays dozens of times. Mentors generously provided references. I submitted everything in September, knowing my chances were slim.

After a long delay, I received an email at the end of November telling me my application had been declined.

It sucked, but it wasn’t unexpected. And believe it or not, I’m grateful for the process. I’m grateful for my incredible family, friends, and mentors who encouraged me and provided references for me. I’m grateful for how I grew through waking up early for months on end in pursuit of a dream. I’m grateful for the deep, personal reflection that I badly needed but never put the time aside to do. All in all, it was totally worth it.

That’s not to say every risk will be worth it. I sacrificed a lot in this process. But I want to be the type of person who is always looking forward, toward what could be. I want to look at the world as full of possibilities, constantly asking “what if we can pull this off?” I want to be smart, to count the costs. But I’d rather err on the side of aiming too high than not trying at all.

As I head into 2019 with a closed door from 2018, I can confidently say: I don’t ever plan to stop swinging for the fences.