Afterthoughts… (that moment.)

that moment i opened my eyes. & you were there. seeing me. as i see you. eyes crusted over. with alcohol infused sleep. loud snores. breaths of last night drinks. & cheese (because we can eat all the finger foods covered in cheese. free cheese.) that moment we take our first breaths. communion. we consume each other. we swallow the moments we forgot. we hurt. we cried. with each other. each morning. we are a new beginning. that moment we are covered. forgiven of yesterday’s sins. we carefully drill the nails from our crosses. that moment. warm wash cloths wipe the blood of war away. we see each other in peace. we forgive of hurt feelings. words. words covered in grenades. words encapsulated in bullets. words on the tip of sharp, double-edged swords. we forgive of hurt feelings.

that moment we smile at each other. the Sun shines fully on our bodies of cinnamon and nutmeg. dressed in proper pajamas. that moment. we don’t choose lust. we could. dangerous thoughts touch the corner of our lips. our hands want to do more than hands should do. this moment. we are steadfast. we are hard-pressed. yet. we are not overcome. we see each other newly born. a baptism of desire coats us with a fervor. we want to remain pure. true. to us. we want to know the inner workings. of us. we want to know about that moment. all those moments. that stole our breath. magnificent moments. gave us tears we couldn’t cry. we fell to our knees. when we were filled with privileged gratitude. we want to feel what the other feels. anticipation. of that first touch. the first kiss. lips press upon lips. breathing comes to a halt. life fades into the background. we are the show. we’ve been waiting to see. that moment. when we were able to see. us. without looking away. breathless. embarrassed. new. raw. fresh. we will recall these moments over coffee. hash browns. on Sunday mornings. reading Medium stories. like it’s the daily paper. sharing our favorite stories. suggesting others. we will smile. without having to prove we earned it. we will be light. free. we’ve liberated the other. for being human. only human. for expecting greatness. when we were not. we release. the image. of perfection. we receive clean slates. our joy. will come. each morning. we will remain. steadfast. through dark. tempting. nights. we will share our moments. suffering. triumph. weakness. strength. we will whisper. the moments of backsliding. shamed. backsliding went down hills. through tunnels. in treacherous waters. before we stopped. before we knew. we should. stop. we will ask. “does this make us bad. people?” “are we not supposed to be near. the other?” we are the thorn in our flesh. we will lean. on our everlasting arms. speak encouragement. provide safety. in number. at night. joy will come in the morning. we are made in the image of our maker. we are not forsaken. we forgive. we are forgiven. we dance in the sun rise. that moment. I open my eyes. seeing you. as you see me. we made it through another day. we smile with stale breath. our skin hot. sticky. from a deep slumber. beneath many blankets. our eyes stuck together. we pull apart our lids. we lay in silence. our souls meet. again. we

don’t interrupt. with human words. our spirits speak. we are not of this earth. we are more. that moment. we didn’t run from bed. to work. to kids. to bills. to friends. to do. something else. we stayed. dropped our loads. and became what we always been. peace. seeing me. as i see you. whole. complete. perfect.

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