i dig this. i can relate a bit.
it’s literally one of the things i’m most passionate about in life. i didn’t want to make it work for myself. and possibly become less passionate doing it. i went that route in college. and i burned out. i did the work, completed the assignments but there was no passion left in me, close to the end of each semester.
i loved it more when it was just me writing at will, for expression, love, and the joy of it.