sunday, i ran into some friends. one from my christian faith running days. she asked me if i was still with the church? i told her “no, i left a good ten plus years ago”. she asked me, “what faith are you now?” i responded with, “i’m not a part of any religion.” her eyes widened and she looked at me surprised. as if she expected more from me. she asked me, “well, who is your god? do you have a god? where is your faith?”
this happened sunday. and it’s been something i’ve been thinking about since. i am no muslim nor have i ever been. i did however grow into myself feeling that the girl i am, i haven’t and cannot fit into religion at all. and with religion comes faith. and i have no faith because i don’t fit the rules and regulations.
all those questions were quite embarrassing for me. tears came to my eyes. again, i felt like i was the problem instead of a system that says i have to look, act, and dress a certain way to be apart of this faith/religion to be fully accepted &/or regarded to be considered one of them. and it seemed less about faith to me and more about technicalities and legalisms.
i suppose it’s all about navigation and identifying how a specific faith fit into you instead of how you fit into it. and that speaks to redefining what faith has been all this time and what it looks like on an individual level. especially for women including women of muslim faith, whom have been historically considered having little to no voice at all.
this is needed. i believe women not of muslim faith also benefit from this space. this is beautiful and humble beginning. wishing you the best here!