After being on my own with two children for 12 years I finally allowed someone into my space, my…

yeah. i cried over that. almost 20 years of friendship and i never saw that coming. and i never got a response as to any of that. i didn’t figure out what that frienship was based on. i totally get this. one has a hard enough time looking in the mirror and accepting the goodness that gets bestowed. then to have one question the goodness falling into you? it doesn’t feel good. i think i halfway failed at my marriage because i didn’t think i was worthy enough to have it in the first place. like “I” was the mistake. i never stopped hearing my friends voice in my head, “why you?” as if i didn’t deserve it. i understand. man, do i understand.

now. i’m very specific about whom i let linger and kick it in my circles.

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