Matt WalshinThe HavenThe faux Lumberjack Beard EpidemicYou don’t own an ax. Your beard is a lie.4d ago14d ago1
Matt WalshinThe HavenCorner the market on hot 75-year-old women. Start planning early.Don’t you want a rich, aging supermodel?Sep 14Sep 14
Matt WalshinThe HavenI’m writing a blockbuster novel. I just need a plot and characters.Can you say, Pulitzer? Look out, literary world.Sep 71Sep 71
Matt WalshinThe HavenWife away on biz trip. Now, I run the house MY way!!!Time for some manly re-arranging to get this place back to guy-ness.Aug 311Aug 311
Matt WalshinThe HavenOld age awaits. My penis will rage against the dying light.I grow old. As I edge into my late sixties, I’ve accumulated a medley of discomforts. My lower back aches constantly — the final effects…Aug 28Aug 28
Matt WalshinThe HavenSnoop Dogg, Manning and Clarkson covering Olympics? Please, no!There are fails and there are fails. This one is Olympic-sized.Aug 22Aug 22
Matt WalshinThe HavenHow I learned my brother was my half-brother.You’re never too old for a family surprise!Aug 2Aug 2
Matt WalshinThe HavenI’m a squid and sick of octopuses getting all the attention.Really, seems like people don’t even know we exist. Us, the squids. Why is it everyone ignores us and lavishes attention on the octopus?Jul 63Jul 63
Matt WalshinThe HavenSorry honey, I can’t tie you up in bed for sex.Sugar, kitten, baby-kins, I’m sorry. I can’t tie you up tonight and probe you with sex toys. And believe me, your sexual and erotic…Jun 297Jun 297
Matt WalshinThe HavenInjuries decimate pro Tiddlywinks squad. “It’s next man up!”It’s been a rough year for the Baltimore Bearcats Tiddlywinks team. Injuries to four of the squad’s top eight players will make winning…Jun 9Jun 9