Mail Order Bride Scams: The Dark Side of Online Dating

Walter Tevis
7 min readJul 15, 2024

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Exploring modern mail order bride services is like opening a door to a whole new world where you can connect with amazing women from far-off lands, all of whom are eager to dive into serious, long-distance relationships. It’s honestly an incredible chance to meet someone who could end up being “the one.” But, let’s not forget that while online dating can be super convenient and easy, it also has its darker side, especially when it comes to romance scams.

Sadly, it’s not just about being catfished or ghosted, which are bad enough on their own. Some scammers take things to a whole new level by stealing the identities of real women, often from Asian countries or other parts of the globe, and use these stolen personas to trick singles searching for love. They pull out all the stops, going to great lengths to deceive people, and unfortunately, this can lead to some folks losing thousands of dollars. It’s a harsh reminder that while looking for love online, it’s crucial to stay alert and cautious.

Mail Order Bride Scams

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How to Recognize a Mail Order Bride Scammer? 🚩

So, I’ve been hearing from loads of folks who’ve been duped out of their hard-earned cash, sometimes to the tune of hundreds or even thousands of dollars, by people they met online who they thought were buddies or more than friends. It turns out, these Internet con artists are pretty good at convincing folks to part with their money. They use all sorts of tricks, including fake online dating profiles. They’ll spend ages getting to know you, building up a relationship, only to pull a fast one and ask for money out of the blue.

Before you even think about sending money, take a pause and see if any of these red flags sound familiar. You might be dealing with a scam:

  • Your online friend or supposed sweetheart is someone you’ve never actually met in real life.
  • The person you’re chatting with seems to have the worst luck ever — like, they’ve been in a car accident, got arrested, got mugged, you name it. Or they tell you some sob story about their family not being able to help them out. Sometimes, they might even say they’ve got a sick kid overseas.
  • You’ve already sent them money for travel expenses like visas or plane tickets, but they always have some excuse for why they can’t seem to get to you, like being held up by immigration officials or other sudden problems.
  • Watch out for anyone who tells you they need money to be able to leave their country and come to the U.S. — they might mention something like a Basic Travel Allowance or BTA. Just so you know, that’s not a real thing. And, no, U.S. laws don’t require anyone to show they have a certain amount of money to travel here.
  • The scammer claims they were born in the U.S., but their grammar and spelling are off, making you think English isn’t their first language.
Mail Order Bride Scam

Heads up: Spotting a Mail Order Bride Scam

Let’s dive into the nitty-gritty of spotting those sneaky scam artists who are out to get your money or personal info. Trust me, I’ve seen a thing or two, and here’s what usually gives them away:

⏳ The “Urgent Help Needed” Plot

Ever chatted with someone online who, out of the blue, hits you with a sob story about needing cash ASAP for an emergency? Yeah, hit the pause button on that. It’s a classic move to play on your sympathy — like claiming their mom needs urgent surgery. Always take a moment to breathe and check the facts before you act.

🌟 The “Too Perfect to Be True” Profile

Stumbled upon a profile that looks like it’s straight out of a magazine? Flawless, stunning, and seemingly super into you? Sounds dreamy, but it’s a good time to switch on your detective mode. It’s wise to double-check their story with calls or video chats. If it’s all too glossy, there might be something fishy going on.

💨 The “Zero to Hundred” Romance

Fairy tales aside, if someone you’ve just met online is declaring undying love or acting like you’re the long-lost soulmate, pump the brakes. Real connections take time to build. If it feels like they’re laying it on thick without really knowing you, it’s worth questioning.

📝 The “Say What?” Messages

Ever get messages that are a hot mess of typos or barely make sense? It’s not just poor texting etiquette — it’s a red flag for scams. If your chat feels off because the English is just…off, it might be time to cut ties and let the site moderators know.

🔄 The “Did I Already Tell You?” Stories

Chatting with someone whose stories keep changing or don’t add up? If they can’t remember what they told you yesterday or the details just don’t match, it’s a signal you might be dealing with a scammer — or even a team of them pretending to be one person.

5 Cool Hacks to Dodge Online Scams 🔒

So, I’ve been diving into the online dating scene and wanna share with you my top 5 lifesaver tips to keep the scammers at bay. Trust me, navigating through this can be tricky, but I’ve got your back:

  1. Stick to the A-Listers 🌟: Only hang out on the popular dating sites that everyone raves about. You know, like the ones we’ve all heard good things about and have seen in our top picks. For example, SofiaDate, SakuraDate, La Date.
  2. Email & Phone Number Gymnastics 📧📵: Whip up a new email just for your dating adventures, and keep your real phone number out of it. It’s like creating a secret identity!
  3. Guard Your Secrets 🛡️: Be super choosy about what personal deets you spill in your profile or while chatting. Think of it as keeping your cards close to your chest.
  4. Bank Info is Sacred 💳✋: Never, and I mean never, spill your banking info or send cash to someone you’ve only met online. Scammers are out there fishing for this stuff.
  5. Real Deal Check ✅👀: Make sure to meet up IRL or at least video call with your date to confirm they’re the real deal. No catfishes allowed!

Safety’s gotta be your number one jam when you’re out there in the digital dating world. Even if you’ve signed up for the most talked-about service, stay sharp until you’re chilling with your stunning date in the real world.

online dating scam

Spotting Mail Order Bride Scams? Here’s the Lowdown 😬

So, you’ve caught onto some mail order bride scams? Yikes, that’s tough. These romance scammers are slick, making it easy for you to end up in their trap. If you find yourself in this sticky situation, here’s what you gotta do:

  • Hit up customer support. Get that user blocked and let the dating site’s moderators know what’s up with the shady member.
  • Give your bank a call. If you’re freaking out that a scammer’s got your financial deets, alert your bank ASAP. They might be able to stop a transaction if one’s been made.
  • Change those passwords. If there’s even a slight chance a scammer’s swiped your info, don’t waste time. Update your access info stat.
  • Talk to the cops and the Internet Client Complaint Center. If things have escalated, it’s time to get the authorities involved for some serious sleuthing.
  • The golden rule to steer clear of these messes? Stick with a legit international marriage agency. Trust me, it’s worth it.
Dating sites Scam

Wrapping It Up

After years of being around the block with dating platforms, it’s crystal clear to me: folks are genuinely finding love online, and it’s awesome. The top-notch mail order bride sites like SofiaDate, SakuraDate and La Date are a goldmine for singles of all stripes looking to connect.

Here’s a quick piece of advice for anyone looking to steer clear of mail order bride scams: just be a tad more on your guard. Let’s face it, folks looking to pull a fast one on you are lurking around every corner these days, both in the digital world and the real one. The trick? Trust that gut feeling of yours and don’t ditch your common sense at the door. Stick with those, and you’ll keep yourself out of harm’s way.

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Walter Tevis
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Write about relationships and international marriages | Author on mail-bride.org