Despite it all, the year wasn’t a total write off…
Several great speeches in history attribute the phrase “May you live in interesting times” as the translation of an ancient Chinese curse. Although the line’s origin is questionable, the COVID-19 virus certainly provided the backdrop for what certainly turned 2020 into an interesting (in the apocalyptic sense) year.
A pandemic, murder hornets, wildfires, Tiger King, homeschooling, and the death of the Notorious RBG are just a few news items that set our heads spinning. But it wasn’t all bad. …
1. The Social Media Announcement
Let everyone you have ever met know that you are planning to adopt a new fur-baby. If you don’t have human children, be sure to call your fur-baby as a “test drive” to reassure your friends with human babies that you understand how opening your house to a fur-baby is exactly like having a human one.
2. Get Animal Shelter Recommendations
If you plan to get your bundle of joy from a breeder, be sure you give your friends the impression you are getting it from an animal shelter, which is the more socially responsible and humane route. …
TO: All Staff From: John Bender, CEO Date: September 28, 2034 Re: Upcoming Changes to HR Structure and Policy Manual With CEO Bing Jacobsen’s retirement last month, the company “lost” our last representative from the Baby Boomer generation. As part of the transition to a younger management team, we hired a consultant to review our organizational structure. They found that Boomers catered to the Millennials when developing office policies, particularly concerning human resources. This includes designing a complicated employee review process that bans negative feedback; on-site incentives such as an ice cream bar and beer tap; and job titles that…
Inspired Writer Contest Top 20
A promise to my niece and nephew
Dear #FavoriteGirl and #BeautifulBoy,
I’m trying to be a better aunt to you and move from ally to advocate. I’d like to think that I would be protesting at police stations and reading books about anti-racism, even if it weren’t for you. I’d like to think that, because fighting for #BlackLivesMatter is the right thing for our country and long overdue. But it’s hard to separate my actions from my love for you… Because when I’m at a protest and they chant #SayTheirNames, I get choked up halfway through the list, because I am so scared for you.
It’s Michael…
March 1865 — Career Crossroads
Dearest Abby: I recently concluded a play at Ford’s Theatre and earned terrific reviews. But I have begun to think myself a coward for doing nothing to stop the President from dividing our country with this war that pits brother against brother. So, I have become involved with a group whose struggle is virtuous, working to stop this war. But acting has always been my passion, and I have finally been called a professional. Should I give up my now-renowned reputation as an actor? Or become more involved in politics and die an unknown?
— John in Georgetown
February 1931 — Employee Relations
Dame Abby…
Mother and I talk about you all the time, about how we would be nowhere without you. Well, not all of you, only the 100K or so who voted for me in 2000. We thank the Lord that you placed your faith in us in 2000 and sent us to Washington. Because of you, we are now a single cheeseburger, virus, or Russian scandal away from the Oval Office.
We are humbled that you forgave my indiscretions of 1990. You recognized that since I was not an elected official, I was allowed to use your contributions to pay for my…
Will our relationship continue to flourish?
It took a scary, unpredictable virus and economic devastation to make our neighborhood feel like a community.
In the four years since I moved into town, you avoided me when I tried to make eye contact with you during my evening walks. I never understood why. From the outside, our ‘hood seemed a lot like the neighborhood I grew up in. Single-family homes, kids playing in the street, “my child goes to” stickers on cars.
And right after I moved it, you set off fireworks when our Cubbies won! I always knew the Cubs had a dedicated fan base outside…
- It Takes a Licking, But Not Literally, and Keeps on Ticking (Timex)
- Just ̶ ̶ ̶D̶o̶ ̶ ̶ Wash It (Nike)
- Don’t Reach out and Touch ̶ ̶ ̶S̶o̶m̶e̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶ ̶Anyone (AT&T)
- You’re in ̶ ̶ ̶G̶o̶o̶d̶ ̶ ̶Well-Washed Hands (Allstate)
- Don’t Leave Home ̶ ̶ ̶W̶i̶t̶h̶o̶u̶t̶ ̶I̶t̶.̶ ̶(American Express)
- Can You Hear Me Now? I Think I Am Six Feet Away (Verizon)
- ̶ ̶ ̶F̶i̶n̶g̶e̶r̶ Fork-Lickin’ Good (KFC)
- What Happens ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶H̶e̶r̶e̶ ̶ ̶ In Quarantine, Stays ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶H̶e̶r̶e̶ ̶ ̶ In Quarantine (Las Vegas)
- Calgon, Take Me Away From all the People…
1. Living with my parents saves me money on rent and utilities, plus I don’t have to feel guilty about using the AC this way since it’s my parents who turned in on.
2. Spending money in trendy restaurants that get good reviews for not throwing away much food prep and/or give their leftovers to people in need.
3. Renting clothes I don’t particularly need instead of buying them, and I used the less expensive service, so I only pay $50 a month, delivered right to my door, in a box!
