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I want to be selfish and want you all to myself

To not care about hurting her, because I like you as much as I love her

For once again, I don’t want to hold back

I wanna feel you without feeling the guilt at the same time,

but I just cant

Every time I think of wanting to have you all to myself, her face flashes in my head

I hear the crack in her voice as she’s about to cry

I can feel The burn of the fire of her anger towards me when she found out my feelings for you.

But darling, don’t you worry.

It’s not about you, or her. It’s about me.

I blame myself for having feelings that I’m in no place of having

For wanting you when someone else had already claimed you.

I wanna free myself from this self made cage of guilt

But I cant.

Like a venomous animal, I can’t be selfish and free

I will only cause harm.

Locked up in this aviary

I’ll stick my own venom in me;

Like the constant longing for your touch and never getting it

I will let it eat me away

For the sake of protecting someone, I’d sacrifice myself

My desire of yearning for your touch

I must let go, for her.

I’m just so afraid that you’ll never hold me the way you used to

Nor am I ever gonna hold you the way I want to

– I shouldn’t have fallen for you

. rmc