Excitations, Expectations & Epiphanies
It’s always so much easier making sense to the head compared to making sense to the heart.
Once we have invested — our beliefs, our emotions — things become clouded, fear creeps in, expectations become the norm, and we start to see things that aren’t there, and don’t see things that are. We sow expectations, and thereafter fear disappointments we may reap, and we start to focus on what we do not have (yet), rather than the good in what we have now. The future supersedes the present, and we would rather put all our eggs into the future, something that at best we can plan for but which is absolutely beyond our control, and ignore the present.
What is good or great now becomes not good enough if there is no assurance that it will be the same or better in the future. We need the assurance. We need that comfort of a determinable future, we need to believe we can hedge our bets with the Universe. Or else it is simply just not enough.
Maybe I have learned from my past to see things more clearly by stepping aside from myself once in a while, maybe I have unfortunately stopped myself from investing as much and therefore I see better. Maybe I’m finally more honest with myself, who I was, my mistakes, what I did right and what I did wrong, who I am and who I would like to be, regardless of what others, except the people who are closest to me, think. Maybe I no longer fear judgement and opinions from others, and maybe I am finally living a life true to myself. Maybe I no longer live and love the way I am expected to, but I appreciate life no less and in fact more, and I love in my own way so much more.
Or maybe, this is just all an illusion and I’m living with massive denial in a self-imposed matrix.
Or maybe, I just need to stay off the blue and red pills.
There is no spoon, I tell you. Just spooning.



Originally published at warbabywrites.tumblr.com.
