Thanks for writing this, I can definitely relate.
Michael Ivanov
21

Thank you for this eloquent, well thought-out, generous response! I find it super encouraging.

“From what I see, you project the presence of way more than just one guy, whether it’s the number of works, the perfectionism, the structure, the branding, etc.”

I never saw it this way. I wonder if this is the impression I give off. It certainly rings true at times in an emotional sense… the feeling that the burden is too great for one person. But then I wonder how much of that is the result of the possibly unhealthy way I go about my work and how much of that is just normal for anyone who gets emotionally invested in something they’re doing, which is virtually everyone who cares to do something that can’t be finished in an instant. Maybe it isn’t even useful to think that way, since I am not everyone else. Or maybe I am like everyone else in the sense that everyone has these feelings and must find a way through to finish the work they start.

“You with me? All the beginners are like ‘No!’ (laugh) That’s ok, you’ll get it. Practice. It’ll come with time.”

I don’t even remember saying this, but I still wholeheartedly believe it and would say it again. It’s nice to know this carried my sentiment over to you and, I imagine, others like you.

Regarding dreading finishing something, I think I understand, but don’t fully relate. For me, performing a song from start to finish the very first time (and doing it convincingly) is an incredible feeling. The way I see it, after numerous failed takes, the one that finally emerges (and often makes it to YouTube in my case) ends up being a monument to one’s efforts… a tangible summation of your time and hard work (even if it is transient when not recorded). Every time you pull a song from your repertoire, you are sharing with anyone in listening range a sliver of your private self, the choices you made and the passions you have.

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