My perspective on Life

I can almost feel that long before I was born, I was sitting under this tree ,completely alone, sipping some cold milk with cream. Every sip left me wanting more, and I couldn’t get enough of it. It was peace and quiet and I loved it.

Just as my glass of milk was making its way to my lips for yet another sip, this guy with a Halo on his head came up to me and we have the following conversation.


“Yo, get up you it’s time for you to leave”.

“Halo to you as well. Leave? But where?I have always been here, this is my spot.”

“You didn’t hear?All of you people are moving out. God wants you out, ASAP”

“But why, what did I do?”

You know Lucifer?”

“Yeah, that pretentious douche bag with a superiority complex?”

“Yeah, it’s something he did. You all have to move out, and shift to his new place. But don’t worry it’s only temporary.”

“But. I don’t want to go. I like it here, with my milk and my tree and my chilling. You should try it sometime. You work too hard.”

“You don’t have a choice, your womb arrives any minute now.”

“God. I hated that guy from the beginning. Such a piece of work. What’s this new place called?”

“Earth.”

“Show me this “Earth” you speak of.”

“Sure. Check this picture out. It’s a very minimalistic design. Basically, there’s only land and water.”

Earth he says.

“OoOhh Earthhh fancy schmancy. Land and water. But what if I need other stuff? Like how do I get from this one green piece from the other?”

“I don’t know figure it out. There will be other stuff too. Join them together, and make something new. What do I know man, I am pure and naive.”

Face palm.

“But, hey, you guys will be there too right? Too fetch me stuff, make my bed so I can focus on like important stuff.”

“Yeah, we will be there, but we can’t work for you there. You probably won’t even see us. You can submit requests though, but we operate on availability basis and theres only a few of us dedicated to this location. So whatever you want, it’s best to do it yourself. I can’t promise you will have the same service there, unless you are special. Like REALLY special.”

“Do my own shit? Are you serious? This place is poorly designed. Poorly, poorly designed. Are you testing me right now?”

“That is not all. There are some specific rules laid out, you will have parents there you will have to respect them, you will have to care for every one around you, if you see a weak man you better be his strength, you will have to remember where you came from on a daily basis…it’s a long list..you will get it once you are there.”

“The faa”

“Yeah, those words aren’t allowed either. So start practicing fella.”

“But Lucy’s the one who did whatever, why am I being put on this Earth thang?”

“ Oh yeah, Lucifer! He’ll be joining you as there as well. Basically, whatever duties in the list you have been assigned to his job is to make sure you do the exact opposite. And he’s a piece of work you know that right?”

“That pretentious no good-er. All right, let me just finish my milk and I will be leaving.”

“Erm no you can’t drink the milk.”

“Why?”

“You have to go to Earth first, and depending on how you perform maybeee you’ll get your spot back.”

“But it’s myy spot.” :’(

“Not anymore. And if you don’t do good you will have to live with Mr.Lucifer.”

“Are you being serious right now?? Live with that jerk! After the stunt he’s pulled! No freakin’ way dude. No freakin way. I’m here like putting my x in relaxing, and he does this and now this. And then this. Who sanctioned this? No one can live on earth man. That place is shit. How long am I supposed to be there?”

“Your time there is based on this simulation model some girl at work came up with. There is a pattern, but there’s no pattern. It’s rather intricate, so many variables I mean she factored in your median pre-womb time as well. Fancy stuff.”

“Was it Destiny? She is such a control freak.”

“Yeah, she does have a hard time letting go.”

“At least tell me I am traveling in this “womb” alone? I hate traveling with people.”

“I’ll see what I can do. I did send this guy with another guy by mistake. In my defense, they both looked alike!”

“I need some lone time to process this. Get me a single seater please.”