75. The V.I.P.s (1963)

Directed by Anthony Asquith
Written by Terence Rattigan
Starring Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Burton, and Louis Jourdan

I haven’t flown since 2008, when I went out to California to play a week’s worth of shows in L.A. and San Francisco. My 8 AM flight from National was overbooked, and I was upgraded to first class on the next one departing half an hour later. But it was a short trip to Atlanta, my first stop, and the plane was small. First class just meant free orange juice and a few extra inches of leg room. It wasn’t even noon, but I started drinking during my layover and didn’t stop until I touched down in LAX. How else was I supposed to deal with the terrifying reality of being trapped in a pressurized metal tube hurtling impossibly through the fucking sky? Since my last drink on June 30th, 2013, I’ve learned how to endure difficult situations sober, if not with grace. Smoking is another story. Last week, during my latest relapse, I went to Wawa and asked for a pack of Camel Lights. The cashier raised an eyebrow and said, You mean Camel Blues? I didn’t know the name had changed. Old habits die hard, I replied. With the name, I mean. And I guess the smoking, too. The cashier laughed. Sometimes you just want what’s familiar. It used to take me forever to decide what movie to watch next; I always wanted a film to perfectly complement my mood, which by default is some chaotic mix of restlessness, vague contentment, worry that everything good in my life will disappear before my eyes and I’ll die hated and alone, hunger, and maybe a little silliness. You know, a tall order. One reason I’m drawn to old movies is that they’re so reliably anodyne. I know the stories won’t plunge me into despair or excite me to the point of hypomania. I want art to challenge me, to push me toward new ways of thinking. But when I get overwhelmed with work and theater stuff and all the bullshit my brain contrives, few things soothe me as much as logging into TCM’s website with my mother-in-law’s cable password and putting on something…pleasant.