Musings on Donald Drumpf’s Sinking Cardboard Yacht

Personally, I’ve found it very interesting to watch the news media on the latest findings detailing the utterly lacking content of Donald Drumpf’s character. They’re treating it like it’s some new and utterly unexpected thing. It’s as if they are at last awakening from some drunken, rating-induced orgasmic fugue state. And the GOP politicians who threw their lot in with him are about as bad off. They’re being revealed for the power-hungry, morally vacuous, dirty-pool players they are, because they were willing to support and ride the coat tails of ANYONE they thought could win the Oval Office and keep it out of the hands of the Damn Dems. And at both the media and the politicians I can only laugh. You guys built this shabby, orange spray-tanned cardboard boat, and with “TRUMP” in pyrite and rhinestone letters 3 feet high attached to the side, declared it a yacht. You put it out on the water without worrying about or even bothering to test its seaworthiness. Now, all of a sudden you’re realizing and are shocked to find that it was shipping water the whole time? Poor babies. Scurry like the drowning rats you are, folks, you brought this one on yourselves. And I haven’t an ounce of pity for any of you.

But what gets me is that even reasonable people are coming up and telling me how the discovery of a few, decades old lewd statements is somehow constitutive of a “new low” even for Drumpf. I’m sorry, what? Has anyone been listening to this man? THIS IS NOT NEWS PEOPLE! Anyone remember his fiasco with Fox News’ anchor Megyn Kelly a few short months ago, y’know the period thing? Yeah, THAT! Or that business where he was making fun of a different reporter with arthrogryposis? Or how about the highly offensive things he’s been saying from day ONE of his campaign about basically everyone that’s not a White Anglo-Saxon Nominally-Christian Fully-Abled English-Speaking Cis Heteronormative Male? All of it, every single word, has all been on the exact. same. level. Every time he opens his mouth, disrespect for someone falls out of it. That’s how an Orange Drumpf do, folks! This guy has been at rock-bottom from the very outset and hasn’t moved an inch from there, up or down. Instead he’s been oozing outward like the contents of a leaky condom, corrupting everything that wasn’t using some backup method. (PSA: Doctors recommend basic critical thinking skills to protect against politishitus). So someone stumbled onto some old recordings that prove Drumpf’s basically been a fully stocked toolbox all his life, that again, this is not a new thing for him. And yet you’re saying this is a revelation to you? Why? Because the aforementioned drowning rats are telling you that they’re shocked, so you should be too? No, friends, just… just no. If you’ve got to be shocked about ANYTHING, please be shocked at the fact that this is where we’re at. That we’ve been, for more than a year now, staring down the barrel of electing the nth degree of 9 to 5’s Frank Hart, the Lying, Sexist, Egotistical, Hypocritical Bigot. Be shocked at that. Ask how we got here, how could we have ever gotten here.

But only be shocked and perplexed by that to a point. By all means, be appalled that this has gone so far, that we grabbed this gun, loaded it, took the safety off, and cocked it while staring down the barrel. Be horrified that we have not yet come to our senses as we sit contemplating pulling the trigger. But don’t be surprised that this gun and this bullet were there to grab, because we made them both. What do you expect in a country so full of, as George Carlin put it, “steaming red white and blue bullshit?” Drumpf is the embodiment and end result of the cognitive dissonance built into our nation at the atomic level. When the Puritans first came here, it was religious freedom they sought, and yet what they really meant was freedom to impose their views on everyone who would listen, and literally hang everyone else. Before the foundation of the country and ever after, we considered it a matter of course to break our agreements and treaties with the native people of this land, repeatedly and whenever was convenient, and yet still pride ourselves on our honesty and respectability. “All men are created equal” was written by a brilliant man who none the less owned slaves. We later decided that each one of those slaves counted for only 3/5ths of a person, perhaps easing our conscience by saying “Ah well, they’re not really men are they?” For the longest time only white male land owners could vote. All men are equal, but some are more equal than others, apparently.

Yes, over time we have progressed, extended more rights and protections to more groups, but each time we do, it comes as a left-handed compliment from the privileged: “We’re granting you this gift, but only because we’re gracious. It’s not your inherent right, as it is ours.” Now of course, its never said like that, but think about how much crap we give people every time they try to exercise their rights and their power, every time they seek to enforce those protections, unless they’re part of the in-group who are privileged enough to have a pass. And over time, we’ve increased the license of the pass to include dishing out greater amounts of crap and more overt displays of disrespect, up to and including even hate speech, and screeched “FIRST AMENDMENT, BEEYOTCHES!!!” at anyone who dared complain.

You’re shocked that we could even consider a rude, crude, lewd, demagogue like Drumpf? I’m not. Not any more. See, he’s a logical progression from our checkered past, and the emergent stain of the tragic facts of our present. The fact that we’ve tacitly approved rape culture and misogyny and allowed them to flourish. That we’ve decided that our resident mass murderers are only “mentally ill lone wolves” if they seem to belong to the privileged group, but are “agents of domestic terror” if they belong to any other. That we have bailouts for businesses and golden parachutes for business leaders whose greed overrides reason and morals, all while our infrastructure and school systems crumble, and teachers with PhDs working the equivalent of at least full-time are choosing between food or rent. That we turn a blind eye to anyone making that choice, so we can proudly wear our distinction as the richest country on Earth. That we destroy people and the environment for profit. That we find it acceptable to send cops in full riot gear to break up the peaceful protests of legitimately desperate, distressed people who are literally fearing for their lives and those of their children, all because our plutocrats and subtle aristocracy are having a panic attack at the thought of losing control. And all the while, we stand for our pledges and anthems, making a huge show of our class and patriotism, thumping our chests about being THE bastion of democracy in the world and the shiniest penny of civilized society. Trust us. Sound familiar?

Are you still sitting there, wondering how anyone like Drumpf could have ever made a bid for power in this country? Me, I’m sitting here marveling that it took this long.