Is this the hill you want to die on? (or starting over)
I’m writing as a recent computer science graduate from the middle of the country —Far removed from the hustle and bustle of the exciting tech industry. I’m currently on a hill. This is the story of the hill and how I got here.
The Lightbulb
Five years ago when I began my college career, I was quite lost. I was a generalist who grew up in a rural community, stuck in a satellite campus of my community college where I could see my high school if I looked out the window. It was quite deflating and a far cry from the exciting picture that John Belushi painted about college in Animal House.
Having to earn my way through college, I soon realized the importance of the investment that I was making in myself through my time and energy. With an abundance of enthusiasm for everything and a determination to figure out what to do with my life I took to Google.
Through searches of my interests I stumbled on the blog of Ken Norton. Ken seemed to be a jack-of-all trades like myself, and called it, “product management.” The things he wrote about this “product management” stuff made my brain go off like a light bulb. I reached out to Ken and I was fortunate enough to hear back from him.
Following our conversation I realized that Ken was actually a really accomplished guy and the fact that he was willing to talk with me was a blessing. From that moment on I knew I wanted to be like Ken and become a product manager.
Phosphorescence
Thus, I worked on farms, as a landscaper, a carnival ride operator, a farm hand, and even a blooming onion stand worker: I worked relentlessly to rise out of community college and began commuting two hours a day to put myself through the University at Buffalo’s Computer Science program (all the while never having had an internet connection at my home).
During my time at college I did my best to set myself up for future success as a PM. Having had no technical background I consulted with CS professors about how to make their courses more effective, I became a TA for two CS courses, I helped market our hackathons, I became a part of a systems research lab, I worked to create a tutoring start up and contributed to developing products with my peers, I even helped host a TED talk like event called Buffalo Unconference for my local community, all the while working almost every weekend (sometimes back to back 12 hour shifts).
I put in all this work, not only because I wanted to secure my best possible future, but because I found myself caring about what was being made and why it was being made.
Suddenly, all of my hard work had paid off. Following graduation I was fortunate enough to have landed a PM role through an internship I did with an opportune company in Buffalo NY.
The burnout
Unfortunately, the full time position dissolved at the last minute due to restructuring.
I would be lying if I said I wasn’t crushed. A few days after the unfortunate news about my job, what felt like the culmination of the past few years of hard work, I took to browsing twitter.
By chance I stumbled on the profile of a designer at a big-name tech company and saw that he was doing a lot of interesting work and writing things that really excited me. Through his profile and work I was exposed to this invisible network of people who were creating beautiful things all united by their passion for building, designing, and advancing technology.
Following this chance encounter of inspiration I took to my back country roads to start running again and started getting up early to hack on projects to prepare myself for a future of opportunity that I couldn’t yet see- all because technology and a stranger reminded me just how big, connected, and fruitful the world is, and why I started this journey to begin with.
The hill
So I’m currently on a hill. An uphill battle, after being met with unexpected resistance. You’re probably wondering what the picture at the top of the page has to do with any of this.
The picture depicts the Battle of Belleau Wood in which US Marines faced fierce resistance from German forces during World War I. Marines at Belleau Wood secured their victory by relentlessly clearing the woods 6 times amid heavy machine gun fire and taking hill 142. When met with their hill the Marines at Belleau Wood famously replied, “Retreat, hell we just got here!”.
When I encounter a hill, be it a literal hill while I’m running or cycling, or a hill like the one I’m on right now, I think to one of my favorite quotes:
“Is this the hill you want die on?”
This quote can be interpreted a lot of different ways, but to me it presents defeat as a choice: A conscious decision to accept failure at the hands of resistance.
I might be starting over. I might be climbing another hill that I never expected to climb. I might not know where this leads.
But I do know that I’m going to keep building, learning, reaching, and climbing: because this isn’t the hill I want to die on.
And hell, I just got here.
— Wes
The future of the world isn’t in screens, but in the people who are building what goes on those screens, and beyond. I want to bring my unique talents, visions, and experiences to be one of these people: One of these people who can completely impact and change someone’s life for the better through their work. I want to connect people around the world and continue to develop technology in a way that is socially responsible, fun, and meaningful. So, I’ve decided to start writing. I’ll be writing about business, technology, music, art, design, programming, and beyond to share my thoughts and inspirations. Follow along and connect with me on https://wesleycs.github.io , twitter.com/wcsendom , instagram.com/wcsendom or via email at wesleycsendom@gmail.com.
