Can You See the Sun Kissing the Earth?
CONTENT WARNING: Discussion of suicide
I thought about killing myself seventeen times today
I’m unlikely to act on it, but having the plan comforts me.
Twelve of those are actual plans
Nine of those consider my life insurance
It is always there, as present as a mile marker on a highway
But say life was a highway
Full of twists and turns
Driving west, hoping to one day reach
Reach the point where the sun kisses the horizon
Suicide is a highway exit marked NO SERVICES
A dead-end road where you’ll break down
Leaving your car for somebody else to tow
But what about the other exits?
Rest stops, tourist traps
The mundane and the gaudy
The mundane and the gaudy
Chips dropped between seats
Empty bags and bottles around your feet
Adventure on wheels
Is that not life?
With tire blowouts,
Museums and monuments,
Sometimes no gas money,
Free roadside attractions,
The road’s washed out,
Take a scenic detour.
On another day, I thought about suicide forty-four times
Forty-four highway exits to ignore
Traveling to the place where the sun kisses the earth at night
Making love every day to life
It took me twenty-nine years to learn
To learn that that place is not the destination
Not the destination unattainable, instead
Instead it is the journey, always pushing us further
Each day moving forward
Going down that highway