“A happy childhood is an important preparation of life”
When we talk of forced marriage, many forget to visualise that these young women are in fact children. In Niger, 75% of girls get married before 18, and many are much younger. This is not uncommon, UNICEF states that 12million girls are forced into marriage every year. The use of ‘girls’ and not woman is vital - these are not legal adults but children.
The commodification of a girl begins with menstruation which generally occurs between the ages of 12 and 15, as she enters ‘womanhood’. Yet this girl is not emotionally mature, nor physically. Neurodevelopment lasts until at least your mid-twenties according to most neuroscientists. That means even legal adults don’t have a fully mature brain, let alone a child a decade younger. Physical development also continues until adulthood, girls grow they change, they mature. We are not talking of consensual marriage between two adults. We are talking about an adult man marrying a child who is unlikely to have the cognitive, physical or financial ability to resist. A child whose parents agree with this action.
But development isn’t the only issue with losing one’s childhood. Most would connote childhood with innocence, joy and a naïve sense of the world. Teenage years are years to grow, to develop as a person, to learn both in school and outside about the world you are living in. It is a time to have hope, to aspire, to get excited about the future. Children should be surrounded by friends their age, they should play, they should learn, they should develop. They are not adults, and they should not be expected to behave as one.
It is not a time to have that all taken away in a mere instant. It is not a time to be married to a man, perhaps many years older, to have childlike wonder taken by the constraints of a forced marriage you had no say in. It is not a time to lose education, to be taken away from friends and your family home. Being expected to act as an adult woman, forced to lie with a husband, to act as a wife, to follow strict gender norms, to be powerless in a relationship; these are all things children should have no part of.
A child has guardians until adulthood because they cannot take care of themselves. How are they expected to take care of a husband and a household? Many would argue no woman should be expected to do these things in a ‘modern’ world, let alone a girl who hasn’t fully matured. Child marriage also raises teenage pregnancy rates, which further reduces the likelihood of education of the girls, and adds in yet another variable into the struggle of the child’s life. Should a child take care of another child? Pregnancy can be scary, it can be hard, it is often not be wanted by the girl. Yet they endure because they have to. This is a further tie into the marriage. Even if a girl was to leave, having a baby complicates the situation.
So here is a child, with a child, acting as a woman she has not choice but to be.
This is not childhood. This is not positive words and the sense freedom. It is not a time to explore one’s self and to grow. Development into an adult has been fast forwarded due to necessity. It is difficult, it is traumatising. It is everything a child should not endure.
Across the world too many girls, are at risk of child marriage, with 23 getting married every minute That is 12 million dreams annually shattered by one’s own family, the people who are supposed to support and nurture you. These are children who cannot grow into society, cannot participate fully and are unlikely to ever become empowered and educated. Any potential of these girls is halted, simply because of their gender.
They could grow and become fully fledged members of society. That’s 12million potential ideas a year that are being ignored, 12million girls who could change a workforce, have revolutionary ideas in different fields, who could be empowered, educated women.
Childhood is precious. Girls have the rest of their lives to be married if they want to, to become mothers if they want to. The world needs to stop letting forced marriage of children happen.
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