ENCOUNTERING YOUR SHADOW(How to Be Your True Self)
Carl Jung is one of the most influential psychiatrists of all time along with Sigmund Freud and Alfred Adler. He was one of the founders of psychoanalysis and despite being highly praised by Freud, Jung departed from his teachings. Eventually, he founded his own School of Psychology called Analytical Psychology. He has published multiple books, like The Psychology of the Unconscious Man and His Symbols, Archetypes and The Collective Unconscious, Modern Man in Search of a Soul, the psychology of the transference of memories, dreams, and thoughts, and the relations between the ego and the unconscious.
His philosophy is often referred to as Jungian philosophy. Within the field of psychology, Jung is famously known for introducing the terms introvert and extrovert, introducing archetypes of the psyche, and classifying the boundary between the unconscious and conscious.
Our Consciousness includes everything that we know about ourselves, the unconscious entails everything that is part of us but we're not aware of. Jung introduced the ego and the Persona as our Consciousness and the shadow and the Animas and animus, the parts that make up our unconsciousness. The shadow is one of the toughest most intimidating parts to handle.
It exists out of everything about ourselves that we dislike, which is why we often refuse to acknowledge it as a part of us. What people don't know is that not facing the shadow can be an even more intense blow to your self-esteem, but facing it is the only way to gain true control over yourself and who you are, which is why in this essay, we'll teach you how you can truly own yourself by doing so-called shadow work in three easy steps from the philosophy of Carl Jung.
STEP ONE: MEET YOUR SHADOW
Jung said "One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light but by making the darkness conscious the latter procedure, however, is disagreeable and therefore not popular"
The first step to getting to know trust and love yourself more is meeting with the shadow. This is the stage in which you ask yourself. Why do I behave the way I do? The shadow is the most intense and problematic part of our unconscious. It houses all the negative traits.
You don't want to identify with the parts of yourself that you reject; the characteristics you think are bad Etc. These Shadow Parts may include anger, vanity, impulses, dark thoughts, shameful tendencies, and so on. It may even include traits generally considered positive such as passion or creativity. In many cases, Shadow traits are traits or desires that are rejected by Society.
As a whole, the idea that one should not have these characteristics has been taught from childhood onwards and that is why we've become ashamed of them and deny their existence. As long as you're ashamed of it and push it down, It ends up in the shadow. Generally, people tend to suppress the unconscious part of their psyche, especially their Shadow Parts.
They are in denial often both to themselves and the outside world and ignoring the parts of you that you're ashamed of might seem like the key to confidence at first but denying the shadow doesn't make it go away. Doing so only makes its presence worse because what you're unaware of you cannot learn to control.
Thus, what we suppress tends to come out uncontrolled in our weakest moments. The shadow is then the cause of outbursts, emotional blow-ups, snapping at others, and unwanted thoughts. For example, someone who's considered to be a gentle person might have lots of repressed anger that they've failed to acknowledge and so may snap furiously at another in a moment of weakness.
These moments then feel like they come out of nowhere and might give you the sense that you barely know yourself. Aspects of the shadow is that it is unconscious and thus to you, this leads to problems. Whatever you push down the most tends to control your life the most. As explained before, the parts of yourself you reject then bubble up when you have no say over them and it will leave you feeling hopeless and not like yourself. This can destroy your confidence.
Suppressing the shadow is like spotting a snake trying to crawl its way into the living room, then you rather scare it to retreat into the dark corners of the room. Understanding how weird people can be, when I said snake I didn't mean a pet. Scaring this snake into the dark corners of the house and pretending it's not there does one no good as it would prove very dangerous at times when you least expect it.
To prevent this We have to bring the shadow into the light: to make conscious what is unconscious to get to know our shadow side. But how? Well, encountering your Shadow happens in daily life in the way of projection. Projection is what someone does when they fool themselves into thinking that they see their flaws or fears in someone else.
It's a way of saying see I'm not selfish, they are. You project unto others what you deny and reject in yourself. Do you ever have those moments When you find yourself judging someone harshly, either out loud or in your head when you catch yourself being biased or holding on to a certain Prejudice, or when you're quick to take offense, those are likely the moments that you project your unwanted traits to others.
As soon as you encounter traits that you're afraid you possess or particularly don't want to be associated with, your reaction will be stronger than it would be normally. That's because those are the traits that you unconsciously want to make the opposite of what you are and what better way to do that than be completely opposed to it?
Thus, something that could have been slightly annoying suddenly became a huge problem. You can't let go of the fact that your co-worker is often distracted, for example, because you need to make it clear that you are not. You are better. These are all ways in which you trick yourself into feeling more confident about yourself.
But the confidence is based on denial and repression and thus it is unearned and fragile. The more you hate on people and traits you possess the more self-hate you unknowingly gather as well. Any confrontation that catches you off guard could expose the truth and leave you feeling completely vulnerable and self-conscious.
So, to own yourself, you need to find the traits you reject and take the time to question yourself the next time you find yourself having a strong reaction to something. What is it that made you feel so upset and why? You might just discover that these are the traits you're most afraid to have.
I remember always being told I was proud. I was so furious anyone could arrogate such a trait to me. They said I was always defensive and never accepted when I was wrong. If you wanted to be my enemy you just had to mutter those words. I'd be full of lavic rage every time someone told me that. "I'm not a proud person, I'm not defensive" I'll scream back with rage. But it kept going on for so long until my final year in the University when a friend I loved told me I was very defensive and it reeked of pride.
It's very hard to become conscious of these reactions. This is why Jung advises activities that clear the mind and allow you to take a step back from yourself. Meditation, for example, is a good way to do so. Journaling about your feelings and experiences as well Or drawing to ease your mind when you find the moments that make you react strongly and impulsively, you can examine them.
Why do you feel that way? What triggered your reaction? Keeping an actual list of your reactions and possible shadow traits can work wonders. You'll find that You can truly get to know yourself in a way that you've never done before.
You can also see the process of meeting your Shadow as the creation of an honest advertisement, or perhaps a review of you as a person. Imagine yourself seeing it: a flyer promoting you. As expected, we want this flyer to be filled with benefits, perks, our usefulness, and the way we make people around us feel good.
But the goal here is to be as honest and focused on our bad side as possible. Fill it with your flaws, your bad habits, the worst things you've done, the things you'd normally never admit to anyone. It will be a hard painful and potentially scary process, but if you can manage to write an advertisement or review of yourself as a person like that, You have met your Shadow.
STEP 2: ACCEPT YOUR SHADOW (Next Essay)
