Chasing Dreams After Stumbling: What You Need to Know
Quilt guest Stephanie Rose shares a deeply personal story about professional redemption after being fired, and advice she learned along the way. Connect with women like Stephanie at a Quilt gathering! → bit.ly/mediumcontent

by Stephanie Rose
I was fired, and it sucked. It ranked right up there on the rejection scale just below divorce, especially since it was from a family business. After a two month pity party — it was during the holidays, to be fair — I started reaching out to everyone I knew. I had no idea what I was going to do. I had just purchased my dream home at the beach the year before, I had a daughter in private college, and my monthly bills could never be considered small.
I had achieved my dream — or so I thought — only to be jolted out of it by life. You never know what will happen or when it will happen. Lesson in this? Be agile , and don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Now it was time for a new dream. But where to even begin?
It takes persistence and grit.
Long story short: I started a health and wellness business with an incredible company called Arbonne, and thought I’d be at the top of the company within the average four to five years they talked about. I’d built a successful Landscape Design business, had corporate careers on Wall Street and in the Mortgage and Real Estate industry— I could do this!
Then reality set in. I was not listening to the people who were trying to help me build my business and I had an “I know how to do this” attitude. Problem is, this is a personal growth industry disguised as health and wellness. I had to work on me before I’d see the success I wanted to achieve.
I was not listening to the people who were trying to help me build my business and I had an “I know how to do this” attitude.
For the first four years of my business, I sidestepped any attempts by those who had achieved their dreams with Arbonne to help me grow. I’ve been a reader for quite a few years, so that wasn’t an issue — I would continue to devour personal growth books. I’d continue to listen to all the trainings and participate at all of the events we would do, and attend all the conferences. And so I did….and still didn’t see the success I dreamed about.
I’ve been through the frustration, sadness, anger, feelings of inadequacy, thinking “what is everyone else doing that I’m not”, along with a lot of other negative internal dialogue. I go to therapy with my spousal equivalent (I call him that because saying “boyfriend” at my age just sounds stupid!) and I’m learning how to let my guard down and allow myself to be vulnerable — but I’ve got a long way to go with that.
Admitting you need help is vulnerable AF.
Michael Singer, chronicling his life’s journey in Untethered Soul talks about letting go and allowing the universe to guide you. I’ve spent so much of my life working at controlling every outcome, that I effectively created a chokehold on my growth. I’ve been so afraid of failure, of mistakes, of someone seeing me for the fraud that I am (childhood detritus) — afraid of letting go of the limiting beliefs that are holding me down.
If we allow it, failure becomes comfortable — it’s what we know and we know how to deal with it. Success can only fully happen when we step out of that comfort zone and take a risk that we might do something below our standards — and worse yet — someone might see us do it! Thomas Edison said — I didn’t fail…I found 10,000 ways that didn’t work! It’s all about our perspective!
If we allow it, failure becomes comfortable. Success can only fully happen when we step out of that comfort zone and take a risk.
What I’ve come to realize is that along with all the bad and uncomfortable feelings, I’m working my way into who I need to be. We NEVER get there! Growth is a lifelong pursuit and an inside job. You reach a level you’ve strived for and then set another course.
Let go of limiting thoughts.
I’ve let go of the panic and feelings that I don’t have something that others have — seeking the “secret sauce” to being successful. We all get where we want to be in our own time and way. I also realize that I’m passionate about health and teaching others about it. And I’m happy! I’ve supplemented my income from a variety of sources — spreading my eggs around and continue dreaming about (and working on) reaching the top of Arbonne. I recognize that I’ve found a community that I love, products that support my health and which I love, and a company that shares my values of social consciousness before profit.
So beating myself up because I’m not making a gazillion dollars has become a thing of the past. I will continue to work and dream about the day I do achieve that level, but in the meantime, I’m happy with who and where I’m at on my journey to get there and I have a story to tell others who may see themselves in my struggles and triumphs. What greater success can there be than to be a symbol or giver of hope to others?
I’m excited to see what lies ahead!
Stephanie Rose is a Quilt guest, and a frequent contributor to our site. Join us for a chat to learn more about how to submit or be a part of our supportive community!
