Beer catalyzed civilization. Beer is the key to space colonization.
Since the 1950’s we have been promised a future in space. NASA pushed the technological envelope with the Mercury, Gemini and Apollo programs, landing us on the moon on 20 July 1969. After the Apollo 17 mission in 1972, we’ve not had a human on the Moon for over 50 years. There is no giant wheel shaped space station floating around Earth. That holiday to view the Rings of Saturn is still a dream. What happened to the promise of a future in space?
One could cite budget cuts, wars, loss of interest, aliens warning us off the moon or a number of other excuses, but we argue there is one central reason for our slow colonization of space:
There is no beer in space.
Let’s go back to the start.
School books claim that civilizations arose as a result of organized agriculture. The conventional view has been that humans gave up the scattered hunter-gatherer lifestyle in order to grow grains for bread production. This led to the formation of farming societies, cities, and kingdoms about 11,000 years ago.
However, a growing body of enlightened archeologists and historians are now questioning those old schoolbook narratives. The earliest evidence of grain fermentation dates back 13,000 years (at Raqefet Cave, Israel), which predates agriculture. Evidence of large-scale beer pre-historic production has been found in Egypt, Mesopotamia, and China, amongst others.
Growing evidence suggests that civilizations formed around beer and other fermented drinks, not bread.
We posit that the production of beer catalyzed humanity ingenuity to invent new sciences and new technologies, such as:
Pottery: The first known beer was brewed in holes carved in rocks. This isn’t efficient. No one want to drink a beer on their hands and knees lapping it up like a feral beast. Reed straws help solve the issue but how do you carry it to the rest of the tribe? By shaping and firing clay into large vessels, beer could then be shared with the rest of the village.
Trade: Once a village mastered beer making and storing it in clay vessels, the next natural step was to trade the beer with other villages–especially if they lacked a master brewer.
Currency & Economics: Beer was likely the first currency. Beer holds intrinsic value. It represents effort and has enough scarcity to become the measure of value. It is tradable for other products and holds universal appeal. One urn of beer for 10 loaves of bread, two chickens or a leg of goat.
The Wheel: As trade was invented and beer began to move from village to village, it demanded a better transportation system than simply strapping clay urns to one’s back. It is easy to visualize how an enterprising brewer who was trying to figure out how to transport 10 urns of beer suddenly discovered the wheel when one of those urns fell over and began rolling down a hill.
Mathematics: 1 part grain. 3 parts hot water. 1:3 ratio. Clearly math is invented.
Writing: Oral history only goes so far in brewing. Recipes require documentation, which therefore requires writing. One of the oldest known documents in existence is a Sumerian tablet with a recipe for beer.
Hospitals: Beer can intoxicate. Over consumption of beer can reduce inhibitions and induce euphoria. It distorts one’s sense of time as well. Put these together and it is totally plausible that early humans attempted flight as early as 13,000 years ago — stimulated by beer induced visions of the future. Those early attempts at flight necessitated the creation of our first hospitals.
The Man and Taxes: An unfortunate, unintended consequence of the inherent value of beer is that it tempts the inherent greed of people. As the first thing of value in society (and basis of currency as discussed above), it was only a matter of time until the rise of The Man, whose greed and dark heart turned toward amassing more beer for himself. Supported by his goons who shared in The Man’s plunder of others, The Man imposed a conniving system of convincing the members of our fledging societies to give up their beer to him, without the need of undue violence. The Man called his theft “taxation” and hid it behind cleverly constructed lies of the village’s need for protection and social services. Actually, The Man just wanted more beer.
Now we return to our thesis, namely:
Space exploration and colonization have been slowed by the lack of beer beyond the 40,000 foot ceiling of current commercial flights.
If you watch The Right Stuff or Apollo 13, you’ll see a number of scenes where the astronauts shared a beer on Earth while dreaming of space. Beer and space go hand in hand. The mistake of all NASA flight programs and even the current private sector attempts to progress us to space is that all have failed to incorporate brewing and libations in their programs.
The lack of beer and brewing in space stymies human progress for the following reasons:
Lack of Correct Motivator. Nothing tastes so fine at the end of a hard days’ work than that first cold beer. Beer says to the human, “You’ve done a great job today. You deserve a beer.” Tang instant orange juice may be packed with vitamins and minerals but, sorry, it doesn’t quite cut it for anyone over 10 years old. Historically, navies around the world incorporated the daily libation into their nutritional programs to ensure that sailors remained content and motivated. All current space programs are failing to incorporate this key motivator into their programs. Although astronauts are highly motivated and trained, their performance can be further enhanced by accommodating the role of beer to reward achievement.
Failure to Ease the Natural Aversion to Recycled Water. All water in a space craft will be recycled. The engineers on Earth will of course assure astronauts that the water recycling system is fully effective and safe, but those engineers who are home with a beer in front of the TV are not drinking their own pee. In human history, it has been proven that even tainted well water can be made safe and more palatable by conversion to beer — hence the necessity for a brewery in every medieval village. Space is no different.
The focus on only the technology of recycling spacecraft water is another example of how space programs have not accommodated the deeper psychic needs of spacefarers, expecting astronauts to get over the repugnancy of drinking recycle pee. By converting drinking water into beer, the thought of“recycled pee” is now distanced by the greater palatability and guarantee of safety that beer has over such water. It’s one less stress burdening the busy minds of astronauts.
Further, we can trust brewing yeast to bio-transform any trace compounds, such as medications passed on by the astronauts, that have slipped through the filtration system. Space brewed beer will guarantee water safety, ease the psychological burden of drinking recycled pee and also deliver needed minerals and vitamins into the diet of space travelers far beyond orange flavored powders. History proves that beer is safer than water.
Over-reliance on Earth Bound Technical Solutions. This essay opened with a brief overview of how beer catalyzed many of the key technological and social breakthroughs that have built our civilization. Current space programs have failed to consider the potential of space brewing to trigger the next innovations needed by humanity to populate the stars. Instead, space engineers spend years developing technical solutions in heavily guarded, sterile labs. This process is slow, methodical and safe. Our space programs are taking decades to achieve program and mission goals.
But, beer delivers faster results. A batch of beer can be ready in about three weeks. During the brewing process, anything can happen. It will take only one hop geyser in space for astrobrewers and engineers to find an immediate solution to a mass of beer foam and hop particles floating around a station. Beer accidents spur rapid innovation.
What, then, can we expect if we send beer and brewing into space?
We argue that off world brewing will catalyze a second round of civilization building innovations and will be the key to successful colonization of our solar system and beyond. Whilst our civilization developed slowly despite the many innovations catalyzed by beer (e.g. the wheel), modern brewing is backed by the scientific method — a factor that was missing for most of our history.
For most of our history, the great discoveries triggered by beer were lucky accidents. However, with a willful intent to take beer into space, humanity will quickly recognize the breakthroughs it needs to make the happy space colonization a reality. We can already foresee some of the discoveries that beer will bring to the space program. They include:
Off World Agriculture: 1000 liters of beer require around 300 kg of malted grain. It is not cost effective (or environmentally sound) to launch malts into space. Grains will need to be grown and/or alternative starch sources must be developed. This brings civilization full circle to our start. Organized agriculture for the purpose of brewing beer laid the foundations for the state. Space colonization will likewise require agriculture and, once again, grains for beer will be the definitive crop. Such agriculture will bring the first colonists to space, just as we formed villages more than 10,000 years ago. Naturally, as we colonize space, The Man will attempt to swindle off world settlers. Hopefully, we will recognize this atrocity before it takes root and cut The Man out of space governance system.
Genetics: Agriculture requires significant space. It is foreseeable that the pressure to grow enough starchy grains for brewing and human consumption will demand major advances in genetic modification. Consequently, we may have to accept that space agriculture will not be free of GMOs. Space brewing will demand that we alter algae, bacteria and fungi to yield starches, alpha and beta acids and aromatic compounds to replace the need to grow barley and hops in space. These same developments will also feed colonists.
Material Sciences: Similar to sending tons of malted barley into space, it is rather prohibitive to send heavy stainless brew systems into space. The problem is exacerbated if we are building a brewery beyond Earth orbit, such as placing breweries on the Moon or Mars. It is unlikely that a new space propulsion system, such as anti-gravity lift, will emerge in the next decade. Thus, one of the first foreseeable innovations will be the development of lighter stronger materials that can be 3D printed in space from which to build off world breweries. In addition, zero or low G environments will alter the configuration of breweries, with a likely discovery of new processes that can be used in other areas of space colonization.
Circular Economy: Beer gives rise to a number of by-products. On Earth some innovative breweries like 7 Bridges Brewing in Vietnam have harnessed these by-products to create new value-added products, such as refermenting leftover beer into vinegar as the base of chili sauce. In space CO2 from beer production would pose a challenge to the current air scrubber technology. Thus, the first space brewery will trigger the next advances in CO2 management and the life support systems space craft.
We have already seen that space programs trigger innovations that trickle down to our daily lives. Critics of the expenses associated with space exploration often fail to consider the amazing innovations that space programs have delivered to us. Without the Apollo space program, we would probably not have seen the battery-operated Dirt Devil for another 30 years.
Conclusion: Beer is the great motivator.
It is not the lack of science that has prevented us from colonizing space by now. The delay is rooted in our failure to recognize the catalyzing and motivating power of beer. The prospect of a beer waiting for us at the end of the day will be the most powerful motivation to achieve the technological breakthroughs. Gone will be the days of decade long mission development. No one will wait a decade for a brew. Hence, with beer as the motivation space development will go into hyperdrive.
