September 2014 brought about 3 major life changes for me that started all this chaos inside me.
- My youngest started her sophomore year at high school and my oldest is done. Yes, they still need my support and love and all, but they are self-sufficient enough that providing for their needs no longer takes up all my space — physically or emotionally — and so suddenly I’m thinking about what I want to be now that the stage of life, where all my energy goes to being Mom, is over.
- I quit my 2nd job throwing papers. This allowed me to actually sleep through the night every night. Do not ever ever underestimate the power of this. Not sleeping well —or much at all — affects everything. I didn’t realize it while it was happening. But I was just barely existing, not living at all. When I suddenly could sleep again…HOLY MOLEY! Everything looked different. Everything.
- I started seeing B. The feminist in me HATES that a man could be so tightly knit into the fabric of this monumental life change, but I have to admit that he is. Our relationship is unlike any I’ve ever had and it’s shaken me to my very core. It’s through his eyes, through this relationship that I’m really digging into what’s inside me.