gimme one reason

Yeah, he invited me over Saturday and we watched tv and went to bed.
Yeah, we had sex in the morning, but I still feel like the whole thing was kinda ‘meh’.
We didn’t have a lot to say at lunch and I left even though he gave me the option to stay.
And I haven’t heard from him since.

Maybe I’m just paranoid now, but I really felt like he was just doing it because he didn’t want to disappoint me, rather than because he wanted me there.

I don’t want him to just settle for me. I want him to want me. Not just sexually (although that too). He used to pursue me. He used to say things to me that made me feel wanted and beautiful and witty. Now I feel like he just doesn’t really care. It’s not like he doesn’t like me, but it’s like…like he could take me or leave me.

I feel like if I broke this off tomorrow, he’d be sad for a minute and then I’d never cross his mind again. I’m pretty sure, intellectually, that’s not true, but the feeling is there. I’m not leaving or anything because I feel like this is just a slump we’ll get through, but while driving today I heard this song and I could just really identify with it.

Give me one reason to stay here
And I’ll turn right back around
Give me one reason to stay here
And I’ll turn right back around
Said I don’t want to leave you lonely
You got to make me change my mind

Baby I got your number, oh, and I know that you got mine
You know that I called you, I called too many times
You can call me baby, you can call me anytime
You got to call me

Give me one reason to stay here
And I’ll turn right back around
Give me one reason to stay here
And I’ll turn right back around
Said I don’t want leave you lonely
You got to make me change my mind

I don’t want no one to squeeze me, they might take away my life
I don’t want no one to squeeze me, they might take away my life
I just want someone to hold me, oh, and rock me through the night

This youthful heart can love you, yes, and give you what you need
I said, This youthful heart can love you, oh, and give you what you need
But I’m too old to go chasing you around
Wasting my precious energy

Give me one reason to stay here
Yes and I’ll turn right back around
Give me one reason to stay here
Ooh and I’ll turn right back around
Said I don’t want leave you lonely
You got to make me change my mind

Baby just give me one reason, Give me just one reason why
Baby just give me one reason, Give me just one reason why I should stay
Said I told you that I loved you
And there ain’t no more to say

I know I’ll wait for a really long time before giving up because there is so much that is so right about us. But this, this is hard. I’m not feeling very loved. I know he loves me as well as he can right now. And usually I’m good with that. But lately, it’s just not enough. I wish that either this feeling would go away or he’d step it up. I hate second guessing myself.