ghosting
Being Ghosted was the Best Thing to Ever Happen to You
Crystal Jackson
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I agree wholeheartedly with this statement. Having experienced ghosting firsthand, I can attest to the lasting trauma and confusion I carried for years.

I dated a girl for 5 years. 5 whole years…. I’m 30 years old and 5 years still seems like a lifetime.

I was a groomsman in my sisters wedding. Standing at the altar with my sisters husband to be, I scanned the packed room frantically searching for her face.

Nothing. I was sick to my stomach. I’ll never forget that feeling. My blood ran cold, I couldn’t feel my extremities and my stomach was in knots. I fought tears and bile rising in my throat successfully. After what felt like an eternity passed, the ceremony ended and I grabbed my phone to see what the fuck had happened.

One text. “I’m on the way” was sent 45 min prior. I fired back “where are you?!?! Are you alive?!?!”

The iMessage didn’t deliver and the blue message bubble quickly turned green. I fought another violent urge to vomit and broke out into a cold sweat.

I sat with my newlywed sister and her husband at the reception. A table placard with my ex’s name in beautifully printed script adorned the empty seat next to me.

That was two years ago. We never talked again. At the time, she lived less than 2 miles away from me. I never showed up where she worked or at her home. I sent emails, my friends called etc. Not a single text, call or email was answered.

I healed. I survived. The only remedies are time and a change in perspective. This girl is a toxic, narcissistic, sad and pathetic excuse for a woman. She was a loser and always will be a loser. I’m grateful she left. I know that was the only way it would ever be finished for good.

I took one major life lesson away from this. Closure is bullshit. It isn’t real. Nobody is guaranteed closure. We don’t deserve closure. No words, no email, no conversation in person or on the phone will ever be enough.

I still love fiercely. I’ll always love hard. I’m going to have my heart shattered again and I’m okay with that. Today I stand taller, I’m a metric fuckton tougher and for that, I’m grateful.