13 tips to navigate — and improve — our polarized world.
We offer individuals, schools, workplaces and institutions inclusive communication, emotional intelligence & digital citizenship skills to foster collaboration across difference & counter polarization.
Since October 7th, many of us have increased the number of hours we spend online in order to feel more informed and less powerless about the horrifying current events in the Middle East. Some of us have become online warriors and made social media our proxy battleground.
Our personal polarization is almost a point of pride, a way of showing we care: we want a ceasefire over there but we are increasingly unable to even talk to those we disagree with, right here.
At some point during the current conflict, we have seen each other’s worst selves — and been our worst selves — on social media and in real life. Yet it’s not a question of being a ‘good’ person or not: 90% of our behaviours are unconscious, and these behaviours power our digital lives too.
Together we are unwittingly bringing the conflict home through our screens and onto our streets. Hate crimes against temples and mosques are on the rise in Canada and around the world.
Our objective is to offer you tools to counter rising anti-semitism and Islamophobia by improving your individual self-awareness and digital citizenship skills.
So what can you and I do?
One key difference between someone who lashes out and someone who doesn’t is the ability to notice your emotions before they result in behaviours. We hope that the information below can help you to recognize the impact of triggering current events on both your individual and our collective identities, so that you feel less overwhelmed.
When we feel less overwhelmed, we can choose our responses.
Your actions matter, you are not powerless.
TIPS & TOOLS FOR COUNTERING POLARIZATION:
- Current events can bring up the past: for many, this conflict is a triggering time machine that has awakened our ancestors and their traumas. This is partly why we don’t see the same events in the same way.
2. The more closely you identify with one side or the other in any conflict, the more difficult it is to absorb information that challenges your point of view. When we feel unsafe, and in order to ‘protect’ us, the brain’s amygdala (survival instinct) suppresses the rational mind (prefrontal cortex). It cannot tell the difference between a physical event and facts/information that challenge our core beliefs/identity, so it reacts the same way to both: avoid at all costs. This is why throwing facts at each other doesn’t change minds. (see this on IG, here)
‘‘Human beings cannot allow their ingrained political or ideological beliefs to be destroyed by “facts” because for many people those beliefs define them and are a central component of their self-identity. To destroy those beliefs is to effectively destroy the person, so any information that protects these beliefs is valuable, even if it’s fake.’’
3. The less you expose yourself to facts & perspectives that challenge your own, the more difficult it is to respect those who hold them. And the more polarized you will become.
4. The more aggressive someone is online, the more vulnerable they’re feeling in real life. You’re witnessing their stress response. Don’t respond: your online reactions feed the algorithm (propagating their post) and may deepen both their stress and yours.
5. Studies show that the more polarized we are, the more prone we are to consuming disinformation, because we value being right more than accuracy. When you share it, you create misinformation. You have the power to limit the spread of fake news in your own echo chamber.
6. Social media rewards us for extreme language: the more extreme your content is, the faster it will be shared — but only within your same identity group. This deepens division and may fuel more anger and outrage on both sides…which then fuels the division that prompts us to share it in the first place. Defuse your feed: think before you share, Like, and comment (learn more here).
7. Social media platforms fuelled by trauma and algorithms, facts and disinformation, grief and rage are showing each one of us a different view of the world that both reflects and affects our ideas of what is just and what is possible. Amplify voices that move away from binary, winner-takes-all thinking.
8. Understanding the ‘other’ side can feel like a betrayal of our own identity and values. But understanding is not the same as agreeing. On the contrary, it is the only chance we have of finding new ways forward.
9. Studies show that constant news consumption creates anxiety, symptoms of depression, sleep issues, and more. In Canada, social media no longer even contains news, but rather the curated snapshots that we choose to share on social media. Share your sources, and take time to verify a source before you react or comment on someone else’s content.
10. Emotional contagion means that our bodies unconsciously mimic the strong emotions of others, even if we’re watching them through a screen. Consider what you watch, read and listen to and notice the way it affects your mind and body. And consider whether you want to affect your social media followers in the same way before you share.
10. The more worn out we are by the content we’re consuming, the less energy we have to engage with people we cross IRL (in real life) with patience, respect and openness. Our online lives impact our real-life lives.
13. We are trapped in a pattern of distress known as high conflict, where the conflict itself has become the point, and it sweeps everything into its vortex.
“Understanding people doesn’t change them. It’s not nearly enough. But almost no one changes until they feel heard. That’s the third paradox of conflict. People need to believe you understand them, even as they realize you disagree, before they will hear you.”
― Amanda Ripley, High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out
Our hope is that if you understand yourself, you will be better equipped to understand others, and refuse to ‘other’ them. Please share this article if you found it useful, and sign up for our upcoming workshops and newsletter, here.
SOURCES:
- High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out, by Amanda Ripley
- The Power of Us: Harnessing Our Shared Identities to Improve Performance, Increase Cooperation, and Promote Social Harmony by Jay Van Bavel & Dominic Packer
- Deep Diversity, by Shakhil Choudury
