By Michael Balchan, Co-founder, We Human Consulting
Hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. HALT. While any of these conditions can leave us vulnerable, we can also use them as growth opportunities.
“There is an acronym from addiction recovery programs that can help you take an inventory of your defenses: HALT,” writes positive psychology researcher Michelle Gielan in Broadcasting Happiness. “HALT stands for hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. It is a self-care tool to help you check in on your emotional and physical state.”
By noticing when we’re experiencing hunger, anger, loneliness, or fatigue, we can create an opportunity to increase the quality of our interactions with others.
“Our attention to HALT will teach us to stay more in tune with our feelings,” reports the Amethyst Recovery Center. “When we are able to recognize our own negative thoughts and emotions before they spin out of control and get the better of us, we enable ourselves to reach a level of mindfulness that will serve us well in the betterment of our own lives. It will also be much easier to keep ourselves from speaking and behaving in a manner that may become harmful to others.” 1)
In most of the confrontations I’ve had–with my wife, friends, or strangers–one or both of us have been hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. I’m grateful to be able to look back and laugh at how many times I’ve been 15 minutes into an argument and then realized: “Wait a minute, I’m not upset — I’m just hungry!”
Over time, and through much trial and error, I’ve learned that the presence of HALT conditions means it’s time to halt.
As Gielan advises, “Sometimes it is best to hold off or retreat in these moments.” She encourages us to take a strategic retreat, recover, and return to the situation or conversation after we’ve taken care of ourselves.
Practicing HALT
The first step is to check-in when you feel yourself getting flustered, anxious, stressed, or upset.
Remember “HALT”. Are you hungry, angry, lonely, or tired?
Notice the feeling, then label it, “name it to tame it” style.
It can also help to know which one of those shows up for you most often. (For me, it’s hungry or tired.)
Next, ideally, you can address whatever condition is present. For example:
If you’re feeling hungry…Grab a high quality snack like almonds, an avocado, or a piece of fruit. If the meal is happening soon, grab a glass of water and be patient with yourself. Those cookies can be tempting (I’ve got a notorious sweet-tooth!), but the sugar rush can also cause a different kind of energetic challenge. Try to wait until later in the evening.
If you’re feeling angry…Step away and spend a few minutes reflecting or writing down what you’re experiencing, and why. Try doing some short physical activity. (A quick set of pushups or burpees can work wonders.) Alternatively, go for a walk outside and let the cold air help you “cool off.”
If you’re feeling tired…Take a short power nap or meditation. Even just 15 minutes can give your body the boost it needs. Set the alarm on your phone, or tell a confidante what you’re up to and have them make sure to wake you up in 20 minutes if you’re not back. For a double boost, have some coffee just before going down for your nap.
If you’re feeling lonely… Find someone you feel close to and give them a hug or a high five. If you’re feeling adventurous, try opening up and practicing vulnerability with the people around you. Share your emotions and invite them into the conversation by asking for their help or opinion on why they think you might be feeling that way. Or go the other direction, and share a laugh. As Charles Dickens wrote, “There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.” If no one’s around, pick up the phone and call members of your inner circle until you get an answer. Or, call me! 2)
The more you cultivate awareness of your HALT moments, the quicker you’ll be able to recover from them. And the quicker you regain your center, the more time you spend operating in your full potential.
Let’s do this!
