Real li(e/fe)

This is sick. Truly, inexplicably sick. To shift attention from one stimulus to another. From messaging your loved ones to replying to customers. To check Instagram, while deciding to book a flight and then in a moment of recall in mind that you wanted to see that deep movie.

Oh.

What a pity.

You don’t have enough time for everything.

I spilled my coffee on the table while typing this. My hands are slightly shaking — although I’ve taken 3 pills of tranquilizers today.

Wait, and we (me and a friend of mine) wanted to make a podcast.

This is too much.

All of these.

Too. Fucking. Much.

We should stop.

We should stop posting so many “content-in-order-to-create-even-more-content”. We should talk less. We should do our jobs without switching to small talks every ten minutes.

We ought to stay sane.

We need to stay focused in order to stay alive.

In the morning, I was looking out of my window and staring at the schoolyard nearby. And there was something that drew my attention. The gateman was withdrawing mobile phones from kids. I stared at this scene and a thought rushed in my head: “I wish I went to this school.”

Afterward, I did my usual morning routine — ten minutes of yoga, coffee and — opening my Mac in order to start checking emails and dive in the online world of my usual job tasks.

I woke up at 8 pm — no, I didn’t sleep during the day, but my mind went automatic — I was replying to my work emails, cooking, washing my clothes, I even talked to my loved ones — and yet I felt like I slept for the whole day. My brain was in a stupor. My hands were shaking.

I was confused.

Multitasking, they say.

Gosh.

I felt I needed even more tranquilizers.

I don’t like an exaggeration. I don’t want to lie — not every day is like today. Sometimes I manage to work until late at night and stay fully awake while having a lot of things on the go. I manage not to have enough sleep and yet perform well in my daily life.

And yet — today’s condition is rather normal, than rare.

And I ask myself — what should I do? I turned off almost all notifications.

Trust me, I’m not a newbie in psychology — I am quite familiar with a concept of deep work and I read “Flow” by Csikszentmihalyi (although, I had to google his surname again).

But still — how much discipline does it take to stay awake and be present?

How do you separate your work from your relationships, when both are 80% in your iPhone?

Should we delete my messenger when we work?

I do a lot of stuff to clear my days off — I don’t check Facebook, I turn off all notifications from Outlook, I try to read more (although, I still use my iPhone for this).

Regardless, I quite often find myself lost in thoughts and misfocused from current task, whatever it is.

There is a place for a great insight — “Eureka! I have found a solution!”

But I haven’t.

I try to implement enough discipline in my life — yoga, reading every day at least 20 minutes, long walks, almost no notifications from messengers (unless I push the button and check it deliberately), regular uninstalling of time-consuming apps (Instagram mostly), never installed Facebook app on my phone and I even found a widget for unfollowing everyone there (including groups and pages).

It’s better now.

But the battle is still going.

And what happens nowadays?

We use social media as platforms for selling. We use it for propaganda. We use it for sharing our views on eating, sport, exercise, a way of living, our political views and, moreover, we post too much. The first second you are bored — the next second you’re posting some memes/selfies/quotes on your Instagram page.

That’s still okay (!).

We can use social media for self-soothing. For raising awareness. We communicate through social media. We influence. We shape thoughts. We create ideas. We can post whatever we want.

But the more followers you have — the bigger is your power of influence. If you follow someone — you are ultimately vulnerable. You can read some post at the wrong time. You can perceive a wrong idea of someone’s life. When sad or lonely, you can beat yourself mentally even more by looking at polished and perfect pictures of your friends/bloggers/anyone you follow. When in a creative crisis, you can shut down your authentic voice just by contemplating too much information from other artists.

The list is never-ending.

If we have accounts, if we follow — we should stay vigilant. We should be aware.

Information is the power — and it’s a time bomb too.

When you wake up in the morning and grab your phone — stop for a moment. Are you truly ready to perceive tons of opinions, thoughts, advises, states, ideas, comments, pictures etc.?

Did you check how you feel? Did you complete your own morning routine before entering a world of information — which is determined to shift your attention from important things — just because it’s supposed to function that way?

Just because every application is made with a purpose to hold your attention longer.

To make you feel comfortable and stay for a while. Checking your friends’ photos. Then following this inspiring influencer. Then learning some skills through social media (languages or even psychology).

I recently understood — I learned very little from years of following micro-influencers or yoga-accounts.

Real studying happens in real life.

I do not in any way discredit online-studying. Trust me, I prefer a good informative webinar to courses where I have to wake up early and go the opposite end of the city in order to understand that, in fact, this lecture is a total waste of time.

We’re not talking about these cases.

This is about social media.

That is simply not designed in the way that your brain is able to focus. You see a huge long-read from someone wise and yet you have this “heart” and “add a photo” and buttons on the bottom. And your brain simply can’t focus fully — so you’re wasting your energy by trying to focus so hard (oh, and someone-you-never-met just started a live video! what great news!)

You got the point.

If you want a long read — go on Medium, The New Yorker, buy a Bookmate subscription, check your favorite news websites.

But don’t expect anything truly profound from social media platforms. Use it as a tool or as a place to communicate with your friends. But don’t expect that following “Easy-English/Spanish/whatever” accounts will make you more proficient.

It won’t.

Social media are not designed for any kind of deep and concentrated work — and, gosh, this is a relief.

We can post cat pics.

We can stare at nice outfits.

But let’s not replace learning anything from social media. Real skills require real efforts.

So, if your hands are shaking like mine today. If you feel lost and confused and yet find yourself in scrolling an Instagram feed in a search of answers or your daily-dose-of-philosophy.

Better read a book or some article. Watch a good movie. Go for a long walk in the park. Talk to your loved ones — or go meet them in real life.

If you want to learn a language — start with books, not with accounts on Instagram that will be lost in a news feed among photos of cute cats and your classmates that you haven’t met for years.

This is a very trivial truth, and yet it takes a lot of courage to stop pinning your hopes on the small orange icon on the screen of your smartphone.