In August of 2001 The Lord saw fit to take me from the promise land into the wilderness by moving me from minority-culture Southeast Urban Dallas to Suburban majority culture Sachse, Texas. Most of us have never heard of Sachse. At the time it was a nine and a half mile town of 5,000 people. We literally had about 4 stop lights and we’ve since graduated to being one exit on George Bush Highway which finally put us on the map (thank you NTTA). Moving cost me friends. I was a talker going up (I know, surprising right?) and I had deep friendships with people like Dana Gardner and Jim Caldwell. Not to mention I lost contact with my first crush, Makenna Chapel in the third grade. Not only did I lose friends but I lost my place on the social ladder. Some of you are home schooled so you might not understand this but the reality is that in public school there are social rankings among cliques and when you move you have to start at the bottom again. I didn’t fit in either. I was used to wearing Phat Farms, JNCO jeans (shout out to the 90’s), and baggy daddy Tee’s. Apparently the hip hop craze didn’t spread to Sachse because I walked into a classroom full of predominantly white kids in Polo’s and Khaki’s with a passion for weird artists like Linkin Park, Brittany Spears, NickelBack, and NSYNC and absolutely no categories for Puff Daddy, Alicia Keys, Bow Wow, Mob Deep, and Snoop. I digress. The bottom line is that I was a fish out of water, a child in a DMV, a home schooler in a large public gathering. I was the weird one. The odd one. And I literally had no friends.
Until I met Austin Porter. Austin was a country bumpkin who loved Samurai’s, Comics, and BB guns. He exposed me to the norms, values, and culture of the burbs. He invited me over to spend the night. He engaged me. He listened to me. He cared about me. He pursued me. He brought me into his life. He became one of my best friends. Austin and I are more like brothers now. He’s been one of my closest and consistent friends for over 16 years. He’s certainly not the only one. I’ve been blessed with people over the years who have been close and faithful to me through the high’s and the low’s. The point I’m trying to make is that no matter what stage in life I am, I’ve found myself in deep need of people around me to love me, encourage me, call me out, and walk with me no matter how difficult that may be.
Deep friendship is the longing of every human soul. Deep friendship is to know and to be known. Deep friendship is to love and be loved regardless of flaws. We are not whole without authentic and loving friendships. This is consistent with the Scriptures. Genesis 1:18 says, “Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone…” Here we have the God of the universe creating a perfect world in a perfect way and in the middle of that process states that it’s “not good” for Man to be by himself. In other words, humanity needs humanity. It’s important to note that this is said before sin ever broke into the world. Which shows us that God’s original intent for you and I is a world where we love, walk with, and care for one another in friendship. So God graciously created Eve and called them to walk as best friends together.
Do you have deep friends? Do you have someone who knows not only the Instagram version of you but the worst parts of you? Do you have someone that loves you regardless of your flaws? Do you have someone who sacrifices consistently for you? Do you walk deeply in friendship with others? Who do you need to text and encourage? Who do you need to call and set up a time for coffee again? Who do you need to hug and thank for how they’ve walked with you? Friendship is devalued in our culture and for the sake of our own souls we have to fight for them. People are not commodities. They are a gift from the Lord. Deep friendship with God is the greatest satisfaction for our desire for deep friendship. Don’t overlook the fact that every human friendship is an echo of our desire to be friends with God. Deep friendship is a deep desire within every human soul. Which is why the Scriptures say, “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!”- Ecclesisastes 4:9–10
