…ething’s off, but before you go breaking up with them, I’d encourage you to re-read points 1 and 2. A lot of “not working” falls on us, our efforts, and our mindset. And “knowing” whether someone is “The One” requires that we first “know” what makes a good relationship, which is: emotional self-sufficiency, good priorities, and effort.
I have more quiet conviction for my current partner than I ever did anyone else. Whereas I used to answer the question of “is he the one?” with “well, I can’t see myself with anyone else,” or “I guess,” or “it certainly seems that way,” my answer with my current partner is more like “lol.” Like, what a silly question. It’s like being asked if you like breathing; barely even worth asking or answering “yes.” Because of course.
I know you think you can chase both, but you can’t. I’m not saying you can’t end up with both — you might build a meaningful relationship with someone “attractive” (or whatever else) — but you will never, ever cultivate meaning by actively chasing superficial shit. It fundamentally strangles meaning, and the best you’ll end up with is forcing or wringing “meaning” from someone to justify your superficial attraction to them.