Summer Holiday Survival

wellmindedmum
Sep 7, 2018 · 7 min read

Yesterday I had a wobble. Glancing at Twitter, the trending hashtag was #schoolsoutforsummer.

As the mother of four boys, all with different needs and priorities, the prospect of the long summer holiday fills me with a mixture of relief, anticipation and dread. Relief that the school run is now over for a good number of weeks, anticipation about all the fabulous memories we will be able to create, and dread that I won’t keep on top of everything (washing, shopping, dusting and booking of holiday haircuts) and life as I know it will implode.

Since all the boys have been in full-time education, I have been wondering what to do with my time. Obviously once I’ve completed all the mundane household tasks. Which take no time at all, according to my husband. A previous life — pre-children, pre-husband, pre-mortgage — saw me teaching full-time in a secondary school, and loving it. I had wonderful colleagues, fascinating (sometimes challenging) pupils, a social life, and energy: I could burn the candle at both ends and still teach something resembling a lesson the next morning. Nowadays, if I’m not tucked up in bed with my bedtime story before 10pm, the next day will be a washout.

Not having a small person at my heels during the day has come as a bit of a shock. Gone are the playgroups, toddler swimming lessons, music groups, and mummy meet-ups. Instead, I re-stock the fridge (teenage son alert: just HOW much can a 14 year old boy consume in one day?), organise their uniforms for the next day, pick up odd socks from behind bookshelves and beds, colour code the bookshelves and wander round the house listening to how quiet it is. I have felt a bit lost.

My resolution for 2018, having spent the autumn term feeling sorry for myself, was to get a life. I made that decision once before and managed to acquire a house, a dog and fiancé in 12 months. This time I’m simply aiming to rediscover myself, to remind myself what qualities and skills I have to offer, and how I might use them fruitfully to fulfil something for myself, rather than my family. My focus remains my children and family, it always will, but I wish to carve out a new place for “me” to be Kate again, rather than “oh you’re the mum with four boys!”

I’m working on it at the moment with a vengeance, and now suddenly the summer holidays are upon me. Hence the mild panic yesterday. And the reason for writing this post.

So, rather than working out what we’re all going to be doing this first week of the holidays, I’ve decided to share my top tips for surviving the summer break.

Plan ahead

I find that maintaining some sort of routine helps, particularly with the younger boys. They are used to having their days planned out at school, with regular breaks for drinks and snacks. Try to keep to a similar routine at school — when we’re out and about all day, it’s easy to forget to keep everyone fed and regularly watered (unless you have a teenage boy with hollow legs whose every thought revolves around where his next meal is coming from).

In terms of planning days out, ask the children what they’d like to do. Is there a new sport or skill they’d like to try out? Has a new outdoor play area opening locally? Make sure you have as much information as possible to hand — it will help with your planning and keeping your options open. Try to limit how many activities you cram into the day or week — there is such a thing a being too busy. When I’ve planned too much and the little ones are exhausted, that is when things start to fall apart — including my resolution not to open the gin bottle til six o’clock!

Quiet time

Spending the entire summer holidays in each others company will prompt my children to squabble more than ever. And now one of them is over 6 foot and has raging hormones, I need to be mindful that serious damage could be caused too.

“boy reading Tom's book on bed” by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Encourage them to play by themselves, in separate rooms, for a short time each day. Perhaps suggest that the older ones can read a book on their bed, and the younger ones can build a lego creation or set up a farm or zoo. Dig out those toys they haven’t played with for a while and revisit the imaginative games.

I’m bored

If, like me, you’re planning on limiting screen time over the holidays, be prepared for the plaintive cry of “I’m bored.” Some parenting sites suggest creating a ‘boredom jar’ with your children and encourage them to write down their own suggestions on a bit of paper and add it to a pot. When they are bored, the children can dip into the jar without looking and then have a go at whatever idea they happen to pull out.

Activities might include reading a book, baking a cake, building a den, drawing a cartoon, and I’m adding in ‘tidying your bedroom’ and ‘emptying the dishwasher’ for good measure!

Another of my favourites is to leave a copy of The Week Junior and a pack of cards on the kitchen table. It’s surprising how often I will walk into the kitchen and find them all huddled around playing a card game, or trying to work out the sudoko at the back of the magazine.

Limit their screen time — and stick to your guns

As his school doesn’t allow him to have him mobile during the day, my teenager believes it is his god-given right to spend as much time as he likes on his phone or gaming over the holidays. How wrong can he be?

This summer, all our bedrooms will be screen-free (take note, husband). I have set up parental controls this summer to ensure that wifi can only be accessed by their devices at certain times of the day, and are blocked from 7pm onwards. The husband and I have ‘discussed’ screen policy for the summer holidays with the boys, and they are aware that time is limited. All devices will be stored in the kitchen when they’re not in use. Including mine.

Find a summer camp

Summer camps can be a life-saver, particularly if you are having to work over the long holiday period. They are also a great way for the kids to meet and make new friends. Mine have attended the same camp for years, and always look forward to renewing friendships each year.

Lots of local sports centres, sports clubs and schools are now running ‘multi-sport’ camps and courses. Children can try their hand at football, hockey, tennis, swimming, badminton, trampolining, climbing, fitness, street dance…you name it, there will be a course for it.

There are also workshops running that appeal to those interested in photography, gaming, cooking, sewing, animal husbandry (yes, it’s the official term for learning to look after your own pet so I don’t have to…) short-film making, and drama courses for the budding actor.

Check out the camp’s social media channels to see what’s going on and compare with others to check value for money. Is the camp being run by professionals, or temporary teenage assistants? Where are the teachers coming from? Do you need to provide a packed lunch?

If all else fails, there’s always the Camp of Grandparents?!

Exercise them — physically and mentally

Once they’ve stopped school, they tend to just stop everything. Including thinking for themselves and doing things for themselves.

I try to keep my children’s brains ticking over during the holidays; this is not always well-received but it always worth it when they return to school with the ability to remember their times tables and how to spell their own name. There are any number of free down-loadable activities for all ages, and the CBeebies website has plenty of fun games for the very little ones and the kids magazines are also useful for sticker and colouring activities.

“selective focal photo of crayons in yellow box” by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

Another suggestion is to get them to learn to touch-type. It cons them into thinking they’re having screen time, but they are also learning a valuable skill. There are plenty of online programmes available that make it fun and they can chart and measure their progress. Accuracy speeds are highly competitive in our house, and the top-typist often gets a little reward.

If my boys are exercised daily, they don’t sleep well. Fact. So every day I take them out for a daily dose of exercise, and ensure that I leave their bikes, scooters and a football easily accessible at home. The older ones are of an age when they can take the dogs out for a walk (on the lead or I’ll be searching for 2 dogs and 2 boys) and I’m determined that the teenager will accompany me as I attempt the Couch to 5K, again.

Plan ahead for you

My final tip would be to look forward. Think about what you will be doing in September once all this is over for another year. How will you be moving forward, broadening your horizons, finding some ‘me’ time?

Me?

Well I’ll be dreaming of visiting this heavenly place again and getting the chance to read an entire book, and hoping that the summer holidays haven’t depleted the gin supplies in Suffolk significantly.

“sliced watermelon with lemon on shot glass” by ShengGeng Lin on Unsplash

wellmindedmum

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Exploring ways for busy mums to reconnect with themselves once their children have all started school. #wellmindedmum #suffolkmum

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